MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

Booooo Kouche!!! This would have been an incredible story for the not ready for basketball (1-7 record) Chens. The Bubbas get the division by 2 fantasy points. It's the equivalent of 1 turnover or 20 total rushing/receiving yards!!! It's as small as getting 2 less yards receiving/rushing PER game. It's as small as a tipped ball going into the wrong hands to keep a drive going. It's as small as getting 1 bad call by a ref to keep a drive going. It's as small as a few extra inches by an overly generous ref as he spots the ball. How do you live w/ this Cliff? I would be going at Kouche w/ a butcher knife. I wish I were lucky enough to be part of something like this. I'd be going nutz in the background so I could be famous on youtube.

Sorry Vishnal, it wasn't meant to be. Once again, you're on the outside looking in. Does it bring back memories of your childhood? Picture a young Vish standing in the rain outside of a classmate's party. He's looking through the window as all the kids play pin the tail on the donkey. He wonders why he never got an invite. He sees the face on the donkey. He realizes why he never got an invite, they put his face over the donkey's. You can't see his tears for all the rain hitting his face. Sorry Vish. Here's a video for the Guitar Hero fans...Cliffy.

As I look back at our regular season, I'll say that I was the least deserving of all the playoff teams. My point total was certainly less than stellar and I faced the lowest point total. But at least I'm still in it to win and you never know when it comes to the fantasy playoffs. I'll be facing the #1 seed in Shen. I'll be hoping for the Saints to make Romo turnover happy and for Brady to find someone other than Welker.
Sho will be taking on the league's resident spoil sport. Josh will be in a tough spot as he wonders if/when the Wayne/Addai will get rest. I don't think that the Vikings will start to rest Favre and Percy w/ the Packers 2 games behind them. Sho will also have the most explosive player in the game on his side too. I think that they'll be trying to get him 2000 yards while they can too. I'll be rooting for Sho b/c Josh is the bad guy in this story. Here's a video for the futbol fans out there. I know all of 1 player here too.

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

The cynics will say that the SEC championship game was the real BCS championship. After watching the games, I'd have to agree w/ them. The Tide looked quite impressive as they/Ingram went through and around the Gators. I'm sorry Sho but the Tide looked a class above your Gators. McElroy didn't look like the next coming of Drew Brees but he made all the throws that he needed to. He moved the chains and his running backs drove the stake into the hearts of Tebow nation. You could make the argument that Carlos Dunlap would have applied the needed amount of pressure on McElroy to keep the game closer or at least get the ball back to Tebow. But if you're too stupid to stay out of trouble aka don't get a DUI the week before a championship game, then you don't deserve the shot at glory. Alabama does. With the exception of Julio Jones, it seemed like all the players kicked much assssssshhh. McClain will be a top 10 pick in the draft and Mt McCoy will be in a 3,4 defense coming to a town near you soon. Ingram will be playing at the next level too w/ a potential Heisman in tow.
Sorry Shen. It should definitely not go to a QB this year and Toby had a devastating year but in a less than impressive conference. There's too much parity and not enough quality wins. More importantly, USC had a very bad year so voters will think that any quality RB could have had Toby's year. Ingram had the spotlight and kept it on himself right before the votes were due. For the whole year, Spiller has been a human highlight reel. He's scored over and over again in multiple ways including the ACC championship game. It was the most entertaining game from Saturday night. Too bad only Tim and I watched it. Congrats again T squared. Your offense was able to outlast Spiller. Have fun at the Naranja Bowl.

The big 12 championship game was exciting for about the last 3 minutes of the game. Pellini's offense was putrid. It has been all year. The Huskers best chances were w/ the defense and superbeast Suh on the field. They had the ball on the Longhorns 1 w/ 4 downs to get it in the end zone. They went backwards. You got the feeling that the Huskers had a better chanch of scoring a TD if they gave the ball back to the Colt at the 1 and let their defense try to get a TD. Suh was amazing and that defense wrecked any chanches of Colt's Heisman and almost his chances at a championship. Colt was almost a dolt has he lost track of how much time was left in the game. He rolled out and threw an incompletion way out of bounds and left 1 second on the game clock. If he takes one more step or throws the ball an extra yard deeper or wider, then B goes off the deep end and starts screaming about how stupid he is and asking where Applewhite is. The bottom line is that Texas escaped. Now they better hope to get an overconfident Tide team or else they're toast. If I can get it at 11, I'll put $ on the Tide. Of course the last time a Longhorn team made it to the BCS championship and looked like a heavy underdog, Vince stole B's heart. Kras will say that we should also remember how Maurice beat the Canes too. Oh yeah, go Temple. Sorry Ben, I didn't want to risk any kind of jinx on them throughout the season. It's too weird for me to say that the Temple Owls have a good football team. Congress needs to spend more time on fixing other things but if they only spend their lunch hour to screw the BCS, I love it. You can't say "national" championship unless a playoff system is used. And some late breaking news...Agent zero baby mama cheatin w/ the Shaqtus.

As you're thinking up of Xmas gifts, remember that the Hangover comes out next week on DVD. It's a great, great guy movie. Someone calculated the cost of the weekend adventure in Vegas and it came out to something like $50K. I will be having my bachelor party there (date yet to be determined of party and wedding) so start saving your pennies. I also highly recommend Kung Fu Hustle ax kicking edition. It's Hong Kong high wire kung fu action w/ slap stick comedy always brings a smile to my face. Like this does...

Week 2 s/p tonsillectomy is still a beeatch. I sweat when I eat certain foods, including ice cream. WTF?? I miss my gellato.

I'll put another plug in for the NFL Redzone. I was able to watch a lot of the 4th quarter of the Raiders//Steelers game and there were a few lead changes down the stretch. Ultimately, the Raiders prevailed. I'm not a Raiders fan even though I'm from the bay area but I hate seeing teams suck so hard and so long that they become a joke. I'm probably not as happy as the crypt keeper owner but I was glad to see sparks of life from Oaktown's Silver and Black. I was also able to see the Redskins almost but only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades game against the Saints. I told Sho that he should be proud of them. Ever since they went to a bingo inspired offense, they have looked very respectable. The Saints don't do well in the cold so I was expecting a close game. I didn't expect them to actually win it w/o some fluke plays though. Unfortunately, the fluke play was a botched chip shot field goal. Today Mr. Suisham is Zorn's public enemy #1 and unemployed. The Patriots look ripe for the picking too. They can't stop anyone on defense. I wouldn't be surprised if they went "all in" come draft day and try to get a top flight defensive player. For example, someone who can steal the ball from someone who's tying their shoes.

I think that this has been our most competitive fantasy league in perhaps ever. We are down to the last week of our regular season and 9 teams still have a "theoretical" shot to get in. Instead of doing a game by game breakdown which will only depress me, I'll go through what each team is rooting for. I am sure that I am missing something here or there so I'll blame it on the oxycodone. I really miss drinking right now too though I would go to this bar just for the show.

Shen: Just make sure that you don't score -200 and you have the division.
Me: I want Josh to lose out of spite & b/c of our side bet. I want Vish to lose so I can laugh at him. I want Big E to win so I won't seem to negative too.
Kras: Can't win division. Only has tie breaker against Vish and Ash. His best hope is for a cluster F at 8-6 w/ him outscoring the lot.
Josh: He just really needs to win or see Ash lose. If the opposite happens, Josh needs a lot of people to lose. He only has the tie breaker against me. Ben and Vish all have the tie breakers against him.
Ash: He doesn't control his own fate. He needs to win and Josh to lose for the division. If both of them win, he needs VDW to start a kicker for the wild card. If he loses, he has tie breakers against Ben but not to Vish and myself.
Cliff: Dark, dark horse. I also think that he needs to change the name of his fantasy fball team b/c his fantasy bball team is 1-5 and will soon be 1-6. He can actually win the division if Josh and Ash lose and Cliff outscores them both. Not impossible w/ Brees. Owns tie breakers against Ben, Kras, and Sho.
Sho: can only lose division if he scores -80 points to Ben. He owns Vish like Vish owns his own right hand.
Ben: Needs to win and get some help. Owns tie breaker against Josh and Kras. Lost tie breaker against Cliff, Ash, and me.
Vish: Needs to win and get some help. Owns tie breaker against Josh, Ash, Cliff and me. Doesn't have tie breaker against Kras.

So w/ 1 week left in the season, Shen and Sho are in and Tim, VDW and Big E are out. Great year.

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS...S/P TONSILLECTOMY EDITION

I apologize about the very truncated edition of this week's newsletter. Despite the rumors on the internet, I was not involved in a car accident in the very early morning after Thanksgiving. I had my tonsils taken out on Monday. Les was there but in no way was she swinging a golf club at me. Here's the famed Chinese interpretation of Tiger's Black Friday.

Goodbye Bobby B (not crackhead former New Edition version.) It was a great run prior to the last 7 years or but no one lasts forever. You lasted the last 5 years because of your previous impressive run. Joe Pa will have his turn. If Coach K doesn't start putting Duke in the elite 8 again, the rumblings will start for him in a handful of years. The pressure will be on w/ Roy Williams success down the road. I wonder if clowns like this make it easier for Bowden to leave.

Weis is gone. I don't know how anyone in the NFL can give him a head coaching job after his poor run over the last few years. I think he'll be the highest paid offensive coordinator though. You'd need a very secure head coach though. Shen, I still don't know how you lost to us. No offense B, but McCoy gets the Heisman b/c of the position he plays and national coverage but the RBs have been more impressive for the year. I don't know who'll get the Notre Dame gig. I'm hopeful that it isn't an NFL washout. I would have really loved it if TCU coach Patterson got the gig. After Meyer wins another championship, I can see the Irish knocking on his door w/ a ton of the Pope's $ behind them.

I can't go through each game but here are my thoughts.
I'm sorry VDW. I was doing my best in my guidance in the hopes that you would be Shen. If it makes you feel any better, here was my drafted team: Gore, Brady, Colston, D-Jax, Rice, Royal, LaShady, Leon Washington, Hightower, Flacco, Celek, Shiancoe, Carney, Green Bay, and Meachem. Outside of the Royal and Washington, everyone has done quite well but I couldn't leave well enough alone. I have to tinker w/ my team out of boredom. My point is even though you're cursed, you aren't your own worst enemy.
After starting off so strong, the BigPac division now looks to be the weakest w/ the anemic scores. I am in "first" place but only by sheer luck and timing.
I can't see how Kras, Vish, and Cliff can win their divisions anymore. But I think they can still win a wild card spot. Shen and I play for the division crown this week. Things don't look good for me w/ D-Jax out. My only hopeis that it's a Brady/Moss luvfest. No soup for Welker. If Ash beats Josh, he gets the division crown. Sho and Ben are tied and don't play each other till the last game of our regular season. FYI, I gave Vish a double or nothing shot on his Texans against the Colts w/ Freeney out. Vish showed the proper lack of faith as his Texcants crumbled in the 2nd half. As much as I have bashed VY, I was elated for him and really hope that he's figured out how to be an NFL QB. It was a great comeback against the Cards.
VDW, I'm sorry that the Spartans went down to the Tarheels. I thought that it was important that they didn't get blown out w/ Roe fouling out. Hopefully, a neutral court and more seasoning will bring better results in the spring.
Am I surprised that Ron Ron drank at half time when he was a Chicago Bull? Yes. Am I really that surprised about anything that he says or does? No. Do I think that he could end up a tragedy and his actions and confessions could later be seen as signs of his impending doom? Sadly, yes.
Oh yeah, Mrs. Keaton is a vageterian.

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS + FESTIVUS

So Vegas was a beating and a half. It wasn't Kouche level meltdown but it was from my viewpoint. It's been a couple of years since I haven't made at least a couple hundred $ off gambling when I've gone to Sin City and I go there 3-4 times a year. I haven't had crazy runs b/c I can't stomach the large swings of craps. It's been due to poker. It's not like I'm a great poker player as all of you know but I've figured out how to grind and wait and take advantage of the worser poker player tourists in the desert. I've been on such a streak that I haven't had to go back into my bankroll except once. But all good things come to an end. I couldn't do anything right. A guy hits a 2 outer on the river and my set and cash go out the door. I am down to $60 and have a pocker pair w/ pair of $12 pre flop raisers. I go all in and I figure that I'll be racing. I lose when a guy hits his flush on the river. He had A-7 suited. These were the more painful "mistakes" that I made. But like I said, I couldn't do anything right. I made wrong calls and was slowly losing my cash. I decide that it's just time to drink hard and play games where it's all a matter of luck. Obviously, I didn't get the hint that I had none and craps and blackjack were equally "kind" to me. I went from anger to depression to the realization that it was a tragic comedy. I tip my hat to Vegas and surrender. I wasn't done gambling though b/c my buddies and I needed to play poker for 1 hour a piece in order to qualify for the poker room rate. On my first hand, the dealer accidentally gives me an ace faced up so it's mucked. The table looks at me and I say that it's par for the course for this trip. I look at my hand when it's my decision to call and I see A 5 off. The 5 replaced the mucked A. I laugh show the cards to the table and get up and throw my hands in the air. The final punch was that if I had stayed in the hand, I would have two pair. I could have made a bet that the sun would rise in the morning and you'd be reading freezing your ass off wondering where the hell the sun went. You all can thank me for not making that bet.
I take solace in thinking that all my horrendous luck was the yin to Cal's yang over Stanfurd. Stanford had just handed out a beatdown to USC in Pasadena and outlasted Oregon in a shootout. Both the Ducks and Trojans embarassed Cal. Cal was playing w/o their best and only playmaker in Jahvid Best. Stanford still had an outside shot at the Rose Bowl. The previous sentence was in the past tense b/c that's where Stanford's Rose Bowl hopes lied after their loss to the California Golden Bears...the past. I was glad to play my part in the universe's scheme of things.
Here's the painful bad beat story. I'm glad that I was only a viewer at the table. Player in middle position makes a pre flop raise to $12. Small blind and big blind call. 3 9 J all spades comes out. Check from both blinds. Middle position bets. Small blind raises. Big blind calls. Middle position calls. Ace spade on turn. Bet from small blind. Call from big blind. Call from middle position. 3 on river. So
3 9 J A (all spades) 3 is the board. Small blind goes all in. Big blind goes all in. Middle position calls. Total pot about $700. Big blind has the smallest stack so the side pot is between the small blind and middle position. Middle position shows cause he's giddy and full of it. He has Ah Ks. Small blind shows pocket 9s so he has a boat and takes the side pot. Big blind flips over pocket 3 for quads. The rest of us had our mouths wide open in shock and awe. We couldn't figure out what middle position was thinking to make the last call. The last 3 had boat written all over it w/ 2 other callers. At least the full house took the side pot which was pretty large. The middle position guy was the guy who knocked me out a flush on the river.
Here's the Venetian Poker room rate information. The 4 of us got a Palazzo concierge suite for a little under $1200 for 3 nights. If you play an average of 6 hours per night stayed, you get a discount. You can combine the hours so the 4 of us were able to hit 18 hours. The price dropped to about $485 so about $120 a person or $40 a night. The "concierge" portion includes breakfast ( bagels, cereal, oatmeal, crepes, juice, coffee) and cocktails from 5-9 ( top shelf liquor, beer, wine, tempura, soup, pastries, finger foods, chicken and beef tacos, fruits) The cocktails are about $12 when you get buy them on the strip. We easily ate/drank $40 a day at the lounge. Essentially, we stayed at the Palazzo for "free." (I don't want to be reminded of the hundreds of dollars lost in the poker room to hit the 18 hours.) The room has to be less than $399 a night to qualify for the poker room rate, btw. Make sure you have a venetian/palazzo card too.
I know that I'm going to get crape for this but I found a new 24/7 restaurant that serves korean/japanese/chinese that was pretty good at 3 AM and not a rip off. I found it at the IP. Laugh all you will but it's better than late night McD and a lot cheaper than room service.

I guess Belicheat's incredulous decision inspired a lot of fools. Yale was up by 3 w/ a 4th and 22 on their own 25 w/ 2:25 left in the 4th against Vish's Harvard. Yale goes for a fake punt and fails. Harvard wins. I know that Yale is no Harvard but c'mon man!
Les Miles didn't just make an idiot call. He got a miracle heave completed and might have had a shot at a game winning fg from the Ole Miss 32 w/ 1 second on the clock which was stopped as the refs were moving the chains after a 1st down. I'm sure the rest of the free world thought that the kicking team would be running on as the refs were moving the chains and setting the ball down. Instead, the QB spikes the ball w/ 1 second on the clock and game over. The poor kid said that he got the call from the sideline. Coach Miles said that he didn't know about that. He didn't necessarily throw the QB under the bus. He just pussed out and failed to take the blame as this video shows. Someone's in a lot of trouble. You may have won a championship but you're average in the SEC since then and people still think that it was Saban's talent that you won with.

Congrats to Kras. The Buckeyes won and apparently their fans love Rich Rodriguez. Big E, did Nichole know the Wolverine fans who tore down the sign?

Weis didn't make a bad call per se but he knows that the clock is ticking on his job at South Bend. The Irish go down at home to UConn and I'm not talking basketball. Sho knows where Irish eyes will be turning to. Being the savior in South Bend? I'm not an Irish fan but I have to give credit where it's due. They have the most rabid fan base and travel quite well even when the Irish suck. Can you imagine how annoying the Golden Domers will be if they get yearly national success? The state of Florida may not be broke but they can't compare to all the Catholics in the world. Sorry Sho. I think that even you know that he wasn't staying there 4 eva. Oh yeah, Clausen got a black eye from a smart ass.

THIS IS WHAT TEAM CJ SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE. versus STUPID CJ'S.

The game of the week comes down to this MNF game. Sho needed 8 points for the win w/ Chris Johnson left. Too easy. He didn't see the end zone but had 151 yards rushing. Wowsers. The "wow" part is that it's only part of his incredible streak of late. 12.8, 35.9, 28, 35.2, and now 15.1 fantasy points. He's challenging All Day for the 1st overall pick next year. I justas hope that he doesn't get too much work b/c I don't think that his body can handle it for years. Megatron had a big day as the Lions and Browns had the most exciting/electrifying game of the week. Lions and Browns? I know. I thought that I had drank too much in Vegas when I saw this score. Unfortunately, Stafford separated his shoulder in the game and he'll probably miss some time once again. Fortunately, Stafford looks like a gamer and has the toughness to lead the Lions out of the land of horribledom. Use your 1st and 2nd round draft picks to get Stafford some long term protection. I like to mock the stupid but even I root for Detroit/Michigan (not Wolverines). The Pontiac Silverdome was built in 1975 for $55.7 mil. It's just been sold for $583 K. I smart ass about festivus but I don't think that I've gone more than 2 days w/o thinking how lucky my dumb ass is. Speaking of dumb asses, Josh takes the loss but continues to do quite well despite the loss of Owen Daniels. Kev Boss has been the boss for him. Unfortunately, Braylon still sucks as Sanchez continues to struggle during the Jets' slide. We'll see what happens w/ S Jax's production as we go down the stretch and the Lambs eye a top pick in the draft. Bulger is out again and I'd put everyone and their mom in the box to stop S Jax.

I OWN U, DENISE. versus FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL, I STAB AT THEE.

Vish continues to dominate me like the thought of ice cream does to kids at fat camp. Vish had his whole team go way off except for Rackers and B Marshall. Vish's team is pretty impressive boys and it's only going to get better for Vish. Essentially, he's going to get Fitz from VDW for Sims Walker Texas Ranger. Fitz has a sweet looking schedule down the stretch and Bitchy has Beanie to go w/ him. He may even had destiny on his side. I said "essentially" b/c Betts was included and a big part of the deal for Fitz but was knocked out for the season before VDW could even use him. In fact, Vish got B Marshall for Marshawn Lynch who's now day to day w/ an injury. I had 2 players put up zero again as my weekend of pain continues. Breaston didn't even get a target. The Bengals even lost to the Raiders. But I was able to get a final strike at Vish. I knew that the Texans were in a big game as they were fighting for their playoff life. They were even going against the former Houston franchise who took the old Oiler symbol w/ them and really pissssed off Vish. The Texans were at home which explained why they were a 4 point favorite. I told Vish that I'd give him the points too. Another choke job by Kris Brown later and I'a weekly high score richer. Seeing his Texans choke once again was sweet. The prize is just the gravy on top.

Here is a video to represent my battle w/ Vish. I would be the goalie. Go to 20 second mark.

THANK YOU SUPER POT HEAD. versus I H8 BIRONAS.

Cliffy gets the benefit of the wild pot offense aka Ronnie B gets shut down once again aka VDW just can't win. Cliff is now in a difficult though envious position. He has 3 solid RB's and will be playing the "should I" game down the stretch. If he picks the right combo each week, he'll have a sigh of relief. If he picks the wrong one, he'll be blaming himself. Obviously, he wants to win each week. But he'll want to score as much as possible since it's the 2nd tie breaker. Cliff shares in Vish's pain when it comes to the not ready for prime time Texcants. I'm sure he's thinking that the they'd be better if Andre had more than 5 TD's so far. Tim languishes as the cellar dweller of the league and for some reason he's taking it out on Bironas. All he's done is score double digits from the kicker position for the last month...wasted on Tim's bench.

BATTLE OF THE STEVE SMITHS.

Ben gets the better Steve Smith this week and the win to go w/ it. It's now a 3 way tie for 1st place in the SEC/ACC/IVY/A10. Ben's team will be depending on previous fantasy disappointments in Maroney and Torture Chambers. Unlike Cliff, Ben will have to find a defense to actually contribute points too. Kras fails to capitalize on losses by Shen and myself and still sits a game back. At least he has the tie breakers against both of us. Kras must be wondering why All Day didn't get in the scoring fest against the Seagulls. Shen, Sho, and I are sure thankful for the passing attack and hope that it continues. It looks like Warner will be playing this week and that he only dinged his head a little. Shen and I will be sending letters to Mrs. Warner about the dangers of head injuries in the hopes he sits for the rest of the season.

ERRONT HAS AN INACTIVE PHOTOBUCKET ACCOUNT. versus DESTINED FOR DISAPPOINTMENT.

Erin gets the win though these days, I think a team on a bye week could beat VDW. In reality, he gets the win due to a big day for Owens. He had as many points as he previously had for the previous 4 games combined. VDW is so cursed that he can't even trade for a player w/o him going on IR before the trade is even processed. At least he had Ronnie B for few games and Lynch Mob for ONE game before getting hurt. Geez. Sorry VDW. I can complain about my weekend but you've had a WHOLE season full of pain and suffering. Here's some unsolicited advice for next season. Don't over think it. If you have a top 4 pick, take it. All Day, MoJo, Chris Johnson, and Ray Rice will be the consensus top 4. In round 2, take the best QB available. I am feeling Aaron Rodgers. Or you could take players on teams that you despise. This way you could say that you would easily spend $50 to see the Bears suck. It gives you the illusion of controlling something that you really can't but makes you feel better.

GET A BIG SPOON AND EAT MY HOLE. versus. WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH JACOBS?

Ash gets the win as his team gives good balance. Only Roddy White failed to score double digits. It's actually quite impressive and I'd take that any week versus having to depend on crazy games from a player or 2 each week. Shen had a good week but just not great. It's just like Jacobs' season so far. He's been okay but not great. I'm sure that Shen is hoping that Bradshaw's injury means more chances for Jacobs but I say that he just sucks and got his $ so he won't push through those nagging injuries. At least Shen has some pretty choice matchups for his Bungles as we go down the stretch. He's also been quite lucky in that he hasn't had to suffer an injury to one of his stars this season. Good for you Shen. I don't think that Kras and I will be able to keep up w/ you. Well played. Congrats.

FESTIVUS

VDW

Meanwhile, I'm not thankful for the website that proves my inadequacy as a fantasy football manager - a 65% likelihood of the playoffs? I'm a joke.

I'm not thankful for fantasy football, either. I don't really like it, but keep playing as a way to stay in touch with all of you between basketball seasons. I'm not thankful for the Panthers, the Lions, or the Spartans. I'm not thankful that any team I root for or wager on has about an 80% chance of losing even if they're not the Panthers, Lions or Spartans. I'm not thankful for boosters who want to give Rich Rodriguez and Charlie Weis another chance. Get rid of those bums, and let the 2-4 year coaching cycle continue for another couple of decades of mediocrity!

Me

1) My inability to stay patient. Last year it cost me Owen Daniels. This year it cost me Vischanthesuperlargepenis and Brent Celek. Now I'm left going through the scrap heap as the season is winding down and get to stare at 0 or almost 0 each week. Aaarrghhh!

2) That despite all my effort and talk, Vishal crushes me each year by leaps and bounds.

3) The inconsistency of my wide receivers. I either get zero or a billion. Maddening.

4) How Golden State finds a new way to obliterate my hopes each year. This year, the depression set in well before Thanksgiving.

5) Not being able to see what's on the top shelf. It will always be a mystery to me much like Cal and the Rose Bowl.

Ben

Being unable to pick a defense that scores positive points.
Being unable to pick the right QB to start.
Steve Smith (Panthers) doing worse than his evil twin also named Steve Smith. (Although recently the good Steve Smith has reemerged)
Brandon Jacobs has not gotten injured.
Picking up Chris 'Torture" Chambers even though he's on my "I will never draft you ever again because you suck and cause nothing but aggrevation for me" list which started back in the day with Pearless Price.
Possibly finishing behind Vish in anything fantasy, although one might argue that Vish's forte is anything fantasy...

Sho

Calvin Johnson's knee & Matthew Stafford's inability to learn the QB position - If CJ had been the monster he could be, with the year CJ#1 is having, my team would be worth reckoning with.  
Anquan Boldin's right ankle - But honestly the guy is so freakin tough I can't even complain.  He's a beast.  
Jessica Simpson leaving - clearly Romo stopped looking Witten's way immediately after she left.  Why Tony Why?  
Handcuff picks that leave me feeling.... handcuffed.  What good have JStew and CTaylor done for me all year other than taking up valuable roster space I could have packaged in a trade for the draft rights to.... Tay Cody   :)

Kouche

The fragility of ACLs everywhere, in particular the one in Owen Daniels' right knee.
Hamstrings. Hate them. Who came up with this name? I don't remember seeing in hamstrings in Roger (my cadaver in medical school). I particularly hate Pau's hammies.
Receivers who share names with famous news broadcasters.

Ash

Fucking wide receivers. Fucking defense. Fucking vishal beating me

Vish

Feeling like each time I start Slaton waiting for the attack of the butterfingers

Seeing the Saints turn the distribution of carries into the Pats backfield south

Cliffy

brees teasing me every week. reggie wayne and randy moss. drafting clippers. not drafting ab.

Kras

In terms of Fantasy football, am I limited to just this season? If not, I am least thankful for Tom Brady's ACL tear last year in week 1, hence decimating my entire season.

Or this year, everyone in my division wants to switch change divisions. I can't figure it out since my team is not over-powering. (At least not since 3 years ago when I won the league with a really loaded team led by LT.)

The fact I always lose to Ellie and Emily Koch. I beat him once 3 years ago, which I gave the credit to Sydney. But I have another little one arrive this year, and no help. I continue to be fodder when faced with a match-up against Koch.

That fact that I am in a WR fantasy league, and have so little depth at WR that I play 2 TEs most weeks.

If you are looking at the sports teams I route for:

I am a fan of a baseball team that has gone 101 years since last winning the championship. Chicago Cubs, if it takes forever.

I AM thankful for Jim Tressel's success as Ohio State's coach, 1 National Championship, 5 straight Big Ten Championships, etc. But the gut-wretching agony it takes to watch Ohio State when it seems like every game comes down to the very end, week after week, year after year, is going to shorten my life span.

I am not thrilled that Rose Bowl tickets are going to cost me as much as they will. But it is the Grand-Daddy of Them All, and I have had few experiences as awesome as the Rose Bowl.

In terms of OSU basketball, it would be nice to not have so many one-and-done players go through the program. Though I am not sure B.J. Mullins was such a loss to the NBA. He couldn't start at OSU, and he will be in the developmental league in the NBA. So I am not so sad he is gone.

Big E

1. I'm not thankful for my team's RB history. This year, my #1 pick just stinks. It hurts worse than having him out with injury. Instead, my back-ups are out.

2. I am not thankful for the QB Freefall. It has led to me having mediocre QB, one of which is now hurt.

3. I am not thankful for going up against the top scoring team in the league for 3 weeks straight. Then, when I have a chance to win, they flounder hopelessly.

4. Picking up and starting Miles Austin at exactly the right time and still losing (see point 3).

T squared

5.  I don't have Peyton Manning.
4.  The combination of Clinton Portis / LT freakin SUCKS!
3.  I have never started what ended up being my best possible lineup in 10 weeks.  Pure chance should dictate I would have done this at least once.
2.  I offered 3 trades for Matt Ryan, and no one was interested.
1.  Rasho Nesterovic is apparently ineligible

Last and certainly not least...Slattshot

The Airing of Grievances:

-Too many Jaguars.  In full disclosure, I brought this pain to myself, as I am a Jacksonville fan.  But with Drew Brees at QB, David Garrard got in once and left a humongous shit stain on my team.  Torry Holt, Marcedes Lewis, and Josh Scobee haven't even sniffed the field.  I wanted a token Jaguar on my team and gave myself four.  Fuck me.

-Week 6.  My entire team had 4 touchdowns.  My starters and bench players had FOUR fucking touchdowns.  My opponent had Michael Turner, who had three, and Jeremy Maclin, who decided to come out of witness protection and drop 32 points on me.  For once in my life, I knew how it felt to be a Cleveland Browns fan, with no talent and no hope.  The darkest day in the history of the M.I.T. Thundering Nerd.

-Michael Crabtree.  Dude, you get sand in your vagina because you won't make as much as Darrius Heyward-Bey?  You do realize he'll be making delicious Subway sandwiches in three years, right?  I wasted a mid to late round pick on your douchebag ass, dropped you because you refused to play when you could have been destroying the NFC West, and then GET BEAT by the team that picked you up on the first week you decided to play.  I hope Mike Leach shoves an authentic pirate peg leg up your ass.

-Getting beat by the league idiot.  I know every league has one, that guy (or girl) who has no clue what they're doing when they draft, can't put a lineup together worth shit, yet their team gets nuclear hot the one week they play you, then goes back to eating paste the rest of the season.  I barely dodged that bullet in week 10, when Pierre Fucking Garcon saved me.  I feel pain for anyone in this league who has had to suffer that fate.  And to paraphrase a poker idiom, if you don't know who the idiot is in your league, chances are pretty good it's you.

Thank you again for this opportunity, and good luck to everyone the rest of the season.

-Slatt

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

I'm not saying anything about the top teams b/c there's nothing to really say. The favorites win and TCU/Boise/Cincinnati are on the outside looking in. Boring. I want to say congrats to the Cardinal for their awesome and devastating win against USC at Pasadena. It would have been great to be a Cardinal fan there but incredibly dangerous to go around the campus and talk the shizzle. Savor it now Shen. The rest of the Pac 10 pays the price next year. But still sweet for you. Kiss Harbaugh goodbye though. I wonder if Cal will be a 2 or 3 TD underdog in the Big Game. I'm glad that I won't be around you and your frozen oranges. Congrats to Kras. Great win in OT vs the Hawkeyes. Have fun at the parade. Once again, the Yellowjackets have triple optioned another opponent. Any thoughts on following them to their likely destination...the Orange Bowl? I'm blocking out any horrendous/ potentially crippling/ only happens in football video games b/c it's too insane to actually take place in real life hits w/ crash landings.

Go Pac Man. $100 million fight (total gross) versus Mayweather next year in these tough times. Impressive. If my dad wants to go, you kids will be seeing me on PPV. I'll be one of the brown faces w/ black hair in the stands.

EVEN WHEN LDT MAKES AN APPEARANCE, I LOSE. versus IT WAS DESTINY FOR ME TO WIN TIM.

The game of the week honors comes to this game which was destined to be Shen's. To my surprise, LDT made an appearance and did quite well for T squared. It wasn't anything close to vintage LDT but it was good. Unfortunately, it wasn't good enough. It would have been if he had started Bironas. I don't know what he was thinking but it ultimately cost him. Though it probably wasn't asking much from the Eagles to get the ball to LaShady more often when Westbrook went down w/ another injury. I love how Andy Reid calls plays like it's a video game where he forsakes the run. But even the vaunted Pats from 2 years ago never won the big prize. Even the usually dependable Hines Ward failed him. I thought that it was your game to win when MoJo took a knee at the one instead of going in for the TD. He even fumbled an exchange at the goal line but the fumble was assigned to Garrard instead. The Chargers were doing all they could for you by scoring on Shen's defense but it still wasn't enough. I'm sure that Shen loved his chances going into the Cowboy/Packer game. The Packers defense just gave up a kajillion points to the lowly Bucs and he had Romo. Instead the Cowboys went colder than Lambeau and the Packers were able to "essentially" shut out the Cowboys. I said "essentially" b/c Romo was able to engineer a garbage drive w/ a last second "meaningless" TD pass from Romo when the game was already decided. I say "meaningless" b/c it sure as hell mattered to Shen who won by all of 3.3 points. Shen knows that he escaped by the skin of his teeth. We'll see if destiny is truly on his side or if Stanford's season and his win this week was all the good fortune that he would have.

THAT GARBAGE TD WASN'T MEANINGLESS TO ME, DENNIS. versus WHY DOES BREED TEASE ME SO MUCH?

As we entered Sunday Night Football (SNF), Cliff just got the above "meaningless" TD. ( I guess that Vegas would also argue that it wasn't meaningless too.) He had the Pats kicker going against Randy Moss and the Pats defense. Unfortunately for Cliffy, Brady went to Moss deep and often for a bunch of yards and scores. The Colts were able to put up points too and the Pats Defense actually put up negative points, but Randy did more than enough to cover. For those of you who didn't watch the game or the hundred and one times that it's been replayed on ESPN or the billion and one pundits who've had something to say about it, I'll give you a quick run down. The Pats were up by 6 w/ a little more than 2 minutes to go in the game on a 3rd and 2 around their own 28. They went for a quick pass that was almost intercepted for a TD. Belicheat uses up his last timeout before the 2 minute mark. It's 4th and 2 and he decides to go for it. They try and end up about 1/2 a yard short and turn the ball over to the Colts on downs. Peyton gets the ball back and scores the game winning TD. Incredible. Inconceivable. Insane. Belicheat says that he believed that it was his best way to win by trusting in Brady to get 2 yards. But are you really "that" surprised that a man who doesn't give an EFF about rules (spygate) or sportsmanship (running up the score like a mo'fo 2 years ago) doesn't have such an inflated and over blown ego that he would try something that only happens in video games? It was good to see that look of pain in his face b/c he's an asssssshooollllleee to the 10th degree. I don't know how it doesn't demoralize his defense. He can deflect his obvious lack of faith in his defense by saying that it was really his trust in Brady, but it really shows his lack of it in his defense. I know that Peyton is having an incredible season but if your defense can't stop him from driving 60-70 yards w/ only 1 time out left, then what are you going to do in the playoffs when it's single game elimination time? I hope that the Pats go down hard in the playoffs to the Colts just so people can go back to this idiot call and say that it was the focal point. Alternatively, if he wins the Super Bowl he remains genius status. Booourns....Cliff gets the short end of the stick as Brees fails to dominate the Lambs as everyone outside of STL would have thought. But you've got 3 solid weeks out of Roy Williams. Do you think anyone outside of him, his family, and Jerry Jones thought that would have happened? Here's a famed video of Cliff and Bish's favorite ex Houston favorite.

PLEASE DON'T STAY HURT, CEDRIC. versus WILL SOMEONE PLEASE BEAT KOCH.

Who would have thought that Cedric Benson would be an MVP candidate in either real life or fantasy? Kras may not need him in fantasy land given the strength of Warner, All Day and the Vikings D. It is added insurance though. On the other hand, I really think that the Bengals need him. The Bengals won in a tough game against the Steelers where it was all about the defense. But that game was very close and it could have easily been a Steeler win b/c the Bengal offense disappeared when Benson went out. Ash goes down in defeat and is now 1 game behind Kouche. We're almost back to divisional play and there are heated races in all 3 divisions where 9 teams have legit chances for the 4 spots. Pretty sweet or parity. I'll take it either way. Ash has a very dangerous team w/ Peyton leading the way each week. Hopefully Deangelo will be healthy down the stretch and will be productive despite his best tackle's abscence for the rest of the season.

I'M SO THANKFUL THAT THE COLLEGE BALL IS BACK. versus AMEN TO THAT BROTHER.

Our #1 and 2 or 2 and 1 ranked teams faced off this week and I'm sure that both would love to be doing the same thing in the spring for the title. Kouche gets the win this week in a convincing fashion due to his high score of the week. He had 6 members bascially score 20. Huge. He's been strong despite the loss of Owen Daniels and the rotating defenses. Impressive. VDW left a lot of points on the bench, but it wouldn't have mattered this week. Ronnie B's injury was just the final sign that it wasn't meant to be this season. At least you have a high score prize and you never know. Your luck has to change. Maybe it means that you'll crush a test or see Izzo shave his head or get a chance at either All Day, MoJo, or Chris Johnson next year. Oh yeah, Henne is garbage. Lost in the Belicheat decision and MoJo pulling back from a TD was Henne's big gaffe. The Dolphins had the lead w/ a little more than 2 minutes left in the game at about their own 20. What's the one thing that you shouldn't do? Throw the ball and see it get picked off. The Bucs went in for the go ahead score but they're even more horribleerer than the Fins. The Dolphins march the ball back and win the game in the final seconds. Here's a video for our dads w/ 2 girls. I'm sure that it's a scene that Kouche has seen before.

IS THIS SEASON OVER YET? versus THE POWER OF CJ

Chris Johnson went super destroyer on the hapless Bills and Sho reaped the rewards big time. If Anquan and the other CJ can get healthy, Sho will be very deadly down the stretch. He'll be in a 3 way tie for 1st place and holds the tie breaker against Ben and Vish so far. Big E suffers another defeat as he is ready to shoot almost everyone on his team out of a cannon. Cutler was horrendous though some of his turnovers were due to his team and a missed PI call. Westbrook suffered another concussion. Just give up on him already. He has to miss at least the next 2 weeks if not the rest of the season. Do the math. He got his first 3 weeks ago and missed 2 weeks and as soon as he returns, he gets another one. It could be two separate events or he wasn't ready to return or was very susceptible. I'll put the over/under at 6 weeks. TO looks like he's ready to go mutiny any second now. Sorry man.
Here's a video to represent what Sho did to Big E. You can guess who is who.

THE QB SPOT TAUNTS ME. versus IT'S BETTER TO BE LUCKY THAN GOOD.

Poor Ben. It seems like he's been plagued by picking the wrong QB all season long. My advice would be to stare at Lauren and see if she'll put her left or right hand in her mouth or if she'll piss or poop @ 11:30AM on game day or if AI2 will have more or less than 4 turnovers in his next game or you're just doomed no matter what. For example, Michael Turner is out for a prolonged stretch of time. Or if Sammy Morris's return means no more love for Maroney. I get lucky once again and score just enough points to beat my opponent for the week. It's a dangerous game but a win is a win is a win. At least I have a strong combo in Gore and Rice. As long as they're healthy, I'll have a good starting point each week. The inconsistency of my wide receivers is maddening.

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

What a surprise. Florida sans eye gouger easily takes care of Vandy. The bigger story is that the eye gouger had the foresight to take himself out of the equation. In his defense, Meyer is paid to win ball games and he's done that quite well over his time in Gainesville. Teaching young men how to deal w/ adversity, responsibility, and protecting them? Not so much. From a football standpoint, outside of Percy, who has produced in the NFL that has come from Florida? Alabama has looked very suspect once again. Defense wins ball games, but an anemic offense sets you up for being one fluke play away from defeat. It also helps when the refs are blowing calls each week. The consequences? The SEC will be assured of having an undefeated team going to the BCS championship game. (Guinness commercial.) Brilliant!!! Colt has started to regain his form but people will be wondering how he'll fare against an SEC defense. Iowa's luck finally failed them. It sets up a winner goes to the Rose Bowl game against Kras's Buckeyes. Sorry Kras, I thought that Iowa was a team of destiny w/ all of their luck and that they would be the lone big 10 school going to a major bowl. Good luck. TCU is on the outside looking in and hoping for a scenario where the 2 out of the 3 teams ahead of them suffer a loss. They probably had their best shot if Bama lost but was able to beat Florida for the SEC championship. Oh well, Horn Frogs. Congrats to Shen on the Cards' big win on the Farm. Harbaugh has looked mighty impressive in his short stay. He's toppled USC when the Cards were 100 million point underdogs. Now they've beat an Oregon team that throttled USC the week before. I don't know if it means mediocrity or parity in the Pac 10. Shen should be worried that NFL teams will be looking to Harbaugh in the near future. As I've said before, we'll lose to Stanfurd which will be painful. At least I'll be in Vegas to drown my sorrows. Tim's Yellowjackets survived a tough overtime win. Triple option baby. Everyone is looking forward to their game against CJ Spiller. Ha, ha, ha. Notre Dame lost to Navy at home. Awesome. For the Bill Simmons fans, I got his basketball book and pretty good read so far. Obvious Celtic bias, but that's not a surprise.

So Riggo has gone and made it very personal on his attacks on Dan Snyder. I don't know how you can say that someone's heart is dark if you've never spent enough time w/ someone or if the person has never done anything truly horrible. Snyder might be going about it the wrong way but he's actually trying and swinging. As far as I know, he hasn't done anything to point him out as being scum o' the universe. You know how I hold Cohan personally responsible for the plight of the GSW for the last 2 decades or so. But these guys don't hold a candle to Donald Sterling, owner of the Clippers. He's just had a record settlement in a discrimination suit. He owns a ton and a half of property and has been accused of being a racist against anyone who isn't rich and white. If you've ever been in Southern California, you know that's a whole lot of people. He settled b/c the cost of the trial would have been greater. You could argue that your reputation as a human being is more important, especially if you're among the super duper rich. I know that we live in a litigenous society and saying that someone is grand poo bah of the klan based off of a court case is silly. But this isn't the first time that these accusations have surfaced about Sterling. I'm not spending the time to write this because I'm some sort human rights activist. I'm taking the time b/c there is very little publicity about this. I don't know how much time was spent on Limbaugh getting blocked from being an owner in the NFL b/c of his foolish comments on McNabb and his opinions on his radio show. Why isn't David Stern saying or doing anything about this? Why aren't the players or the players association saying anything about this? I don't have the numbers but I'm willing to guess that there are a number of players in the NBA or have friends/family members who grew up in housing tenements. Where is the outcry or at least an investigation of Sterling? If nothing else, I would love it if the court of public opinion would destroy him. Not just the usual, he's a cheapskate who doesn't care about the Clippers cries. I want the he only gives an F about you if you are the right skin color w/ $ in your pockets chants. I have and always will be for the little guy. (Insert your joke here.) Thank you. Also thanks to Bill Simmons for the link where I got this story.

I H8 60 MINUTES. versus I AVENGE MY BEAGLES.

Game of the week 1A. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...Hello I'm Mike Wallace. I'm not from 60 minutes, but my team gives you 60 minutes of pain. Kouche got to feel it too. Ben was reeling after the Phillies and Pedro fell flat to the Evil Empire. McNabb played more like Mayor McCheese due to the Cowboy defense. He owed Kouche a beer. He trailed the Bubbas by almost 13 points and had the lesser known Mike Wallace going on the road against the Denver D. The game went well into the 4th quarter and Ben still needed about 8 points. Hello, I'm Mike Wallace and I just ripped Kouche's heart...Kali Ma...Kali Ma. He gets a TD and just a little more than enough yards. Wowsers. Ben actually got a lot of points from the majority of his team. Unfortunately, McCheese was putrid, Fred Davis was disappointing, and the 49er defense went negative on him. Their combined efforts almost wasted the 30 point performance from the Burner as well as the big games from V Jax, Maroney, and Akers. It was quite impressive for Ben to pick up Maroney and sit Kevin Smith. Josh gets to continue to pay the price for his hubris. You can add his disheartening loss to Ben to the injuries to Pau Gasol and Kevin Martin in our fantasy bball league as well as the season ending injury Owen Daniels. I guess the fantasy gods don't take kindly to braggarts. You should take all the pennies that I once gave you and sacrifice them in some ritual in order to appease them. I'd do it soon too b/c it looks like the Sword of Damocles is hanging over Aaron Rodgers. But I have to give Kouche some credit for his great pick ups in the Seattle Defense, Bryant "You don't need Calvin" Johnson, and Kevin Boss. It was all for naught. So years ago, we did a dance for Ash and Reina's wedding. I was thinking of asking you guys to do something similar for me. I even got a video for you to reenact. There will be a videographer as well. ;)

IT'S GOOD NOT BEING THE HYDRANT. versus I CURSE YOU DENNIS.

Game of the week 1B. This game also came down to MNF. Vish needed about 10 points w/ Jeff Reed and Brandon Marshall and Big E had the Broncos defense. Marshall got his but it was the Steeler Defense that decided this game. Actually, both defenses had pick 6's which Big E really needed. Ironically, he had the Steeler Defense sitting on his bench. I wonder how loud the screaming would have been if he would have loss b/c of this poor choice. Erin actually had a pretty good showing w/ Cutler's 3 TD's leading the way. Once again, stone cold Miles Austin had a big TD. Vish is cursing me b/c I told him that I had whispered sweet nothings in Erin's ear in the form of Ryan Moats as a waiver wire pick up. I'd love to say that I was responsible but I'm sure that he would have picked him up on his own. If I'm guilty of anything, it's that I wanted him to get Moats b/c I thought that he would help him win and hurt Vish who had Slaton. Double Whammy! Unfortunately for Towns, Moats caught Slaton's case of fumbilitis and he might lose some carries back to Slaton. I'm sure that Vish is more upset at how his Texans lost to the Colts. This was being billed as the biggest game in Texans history as they've never beat the Colts. Kris Brown missed an easy FG that would have sent the game into overtime. This win at Indy would have made them a legitimate force in the AFC south. Instead, they continue to be a good team but not ready for prime time. I say it's payback for Kris Brown's amazing shank at a chip shot field goal. By missing the field goal they were able to get the 1st pick in the draft which got them super Mario. Speaking of being a hydrant, at least you weren't this guy in the video.

Unconcious Guy Gets Humped By Dog - Watch more Funny Videos

TAKE THAT CP3. versus I H8 THE DEADSKINS.

Cliff avenges his loss in our fantasy basketball league. We had an auction draft mostly out of fears of the dominance of King James and CP3. I loved it. Everyone has an equal shot at everyone but w/ only so much fantasy dollars to spend, you have to be prudent. I'd love to do it for football, but I think it's way too much for our league to handle. Burn... Anyways, Cliffy gets the win thanks to pretty good production from everyone on his team. Even reserve Roy E Williams did something something for the 2nd week in a row. Cliff, you need to trade him to Kouche now while his value is at an all time high for like the last 2 years now. Cliff was astute enough to pick up the Falcons Defense weeks ago as he saw that they were going up against the Skins. It paid off this week as the Skins slowly sink to the bottom w/ the Browns trying to catch up. Shenanigans finally suffered a hiccup this week. He usually has a few players give great performances each week so I think that this will be more of an anomaly. Only MoJo went above and beyond the call of duty. I think that Shen was expecting more w/ the Jags going against the hapless Chefs. In typical Shen fashion, he was whining about Welker on twitter. As I've previously stated, he's the most consistent wide receiver that I can recall. Barring injury, he'll almost always give you something. Can't ever complain about that. I'm not saying that he's a #1 receiver but he's just a step behind. I still can't figure out what's up w/ Brandon Jacobs. Injury? Runs softer now that he has the big $? Poor planning on offense? At least Shen won't have to deal w/ his disappointment for this weekend as the G men are on a much needed bye week.
On an unrelated topic, here's a link describing all the Sesame Street muppets. Rubber ducky, you're the one. Rubber ducky, you're so fun.

http://www.nationalpost.com/muppets/index.html

AT LEAST I GET $10. versus QUIT HATING ON MY GATORS.

I wonder if VDW stayed up late enough to sweat out his high score of the week. I guess he's the closest thing to a vet in the group so it's appropriate. He had Cliff, Big E and Ben all hot on his tail as we got deep into the 4th quarter on MNF and almost had his perfect storm spoiled. Garrard was at home and playing the hapless Chefs and had his audibles taking away. In other words, you're an athlete but we don't think you have a brain. Anquan got pulled at the last second due to concern's of poor turf that would further damage his hurt ankle. So this means the Fitzgerald that VDW had been waiting for. If you look at last year's numbers, he was at his best when Anquan was gone for a period of time. Olsen scored as many points in 1 game as he had in his previous 4 games combined. Good for you VDW. Sho has decided to sacrifice his fantasy team in order to appease the BCS gods/SEC refs for his Gators. Previously, I've said that Sho needed a mega game from 1 or 2 of his players in order to win. Chris Johnson destroyed my 49ers and put up 28 points. Unfortunately, only the Saints D decided to help out Sho. No one put up negative points or a fat 0 but 4 of his players put up a combined 11 points. This doesn't include the kicker too. It's a sad team w/ injuries here and there. Even Jason Witten, who's Romo's favorite target, hasn't joined in on the Cowboy funfest. Here's a link where we play what if Urban Meyer was in charge of discipline.

http://rumorsandrants.com/2009/11/urban-meyer-disciplinarian.html

THANKS KURT WARNER. versus LADANIAN HAS TO BE WORST 1ST ROUND, NON INJURY, PICK EVER...

I don't get the Cards. They're undefeated on the road yet they've lost to the Panthers and 49ers at home. Inconceivable. Kras will take it any way he can get it after losing 3 games in a row prior to his victory against T squared. Ced Benson has single handedly dismissed/destroyed the Raven's mystique. Steve Smith reasserted his claim as the better Steve Smith. Even Housh's complaints worked and he got into the action against the poor Lions. If Kras can find some consistent help at his flex spot, he'll be the most dangerous player down the stretch. I don't know if LDT was the worst non injured 1st round pick ever b/c I think that Shaun's fall from fantasy greatness was more precipitous than LDT's. At least you have $10 from this season and you never know if you'll get more w/ the Chargers still slated to play the Chefs and Browns. I'll be rooting real hard for you to beat Shen.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ANQUAN WOULD SIT. versus SHUT UP, YOU DIDN'T NEED BREASTON.

I am just glad that my defense didn't put up negative points. I am really glad that Ray Rice has been a beast. Top 4 player next year. Way too early to make this prediction? Of course. Am I still right? Hell yeah. Regardless of how horrible the Ravens have been, he's been huge since McGahee went McByeBye. I'm also thankful that I didn't play one of several teams that could have easily beat me w/ the disappointing weeks from Desean and Colston. Ash takes a loss despite the strong performances from Deangelo and Mendenhall. Unfortunately, no one helped him them out. The usually reliable and 1 time retired Mason did very little. Rodney White was even more disappointing when you consider that the Falcons were playing the Deadskins. I doubt that his combination of WR's and TE's will have a week like this again. On the flip side, I don't think that Deangelo will keep putting up 30 fantasy points a week too. I wonder if Ash is more worried about his Spurs. I know that they're a post all star/playoff team so it's early. I am wondering if I'll get better than 9-1 odds on them winning the championship this season. FYI, you clowns better hope that I don't dominate fantasy basketball. By you clowns, I mean Jouche, Cliffy, Sho and Shen. Otherwise, I'm turning into the asholes in this video. I miss Warmink's trash talk.

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

Ha, ha, ha!!! USC got took to the woodshed by the Ducks. I wish by Bears could do it but I'll gladly relish in it. The surprise wasn't the loss. It was the demolition of the USC famed defense. How valuable is a national championship? You'll risk the brain of your star QB who's responsible for your other 2 championships and is such a great guy off the field that you can't hate him. You'll also half condone a gouge to the eye. WTF. If you need him that badly to beat Vanderbilt, then you don't deserve it. At least when Miami was being arrogant, they weren't pretending to be something else. And how dare you compare me to Holtz. Other than being Catholic, I give you nothing else. Ironically, your words may come back to haunt you Sho. Last year, Holtz said that he would take Tebow at #1 as the best QB prospect for the NFL. Congrats to Texas. Barring a big injury to Colt, they've got their tix punched for the BCS championship. VDW, I saw the replay of the Minnesota Golden Gopher's immaculate reception to help seal the deal for their victory over your Spartans. Sorry. I couldn't find a video of it to put on the blog. Words don't do it justice. I think that it's the story for your season though. Little things here and there cost you a realistic shot at the Rose Bowl. Outside of Sho, I think T squared has the best chance at a major bowl. You go triple option. It might be your Xmas present for the one you got all of us. Here's a video of Sho's proud moment from over the weekend.

If you don't want to read more about my plan for picking your own division, skip this next section.
1) How can you use the argument that total points would determine who has the best division. You can ask Towns how much a total accumulation of points truly means. But you hold the championship belt, so you get to laugh last.
2) No offense to the rest, but my dream division would have Shen, Vish, and Josh. History aka VDW has shown that I have had little to no luck against them. I might be stupid but I have no fear.
3) If you think this debate is over, I have the most time and you eventually have to work, Josh.
4) You type pretty quickly for a 1 armed bandit too.
5) Here's a representation of the current debate between me and Josh. I pick the crazy old couple b/c I can easily see myself going nuts like this in the future.

Elderly Couple Fight Two Crazy Girls - Watch more Funny Videos

I can't believe that Hamels was stupid enough to say that he wanted the season to be over. Just plain dumb. You can't spin your way out of that unless you're drunk out of your mind. He should have broken down and started crying on the spot and say that he wasn't thinking straight w/ a new baby and blah blah blah. Instead, he's going to get pummelled if the the Phillies lose. These are the fans who've booed Santa and cheered when Irvin went down w/ a bad neck injury. Losing to New York makes it especially painful and more bitter too. It's funny how you can go from hero aka World Series MVP 2008 to potential goat 2009. I think that the Phils can get it to game 7 w/ Pettitte pitching on a few days rest. Make him work and he'll eventually tire and you can take advantage. Pedro has had his rest and isn't afraid of the NYC. I just don't know what you'll do in game 7. At least if it goes to 1 game, anything can happen. Good luck Ben. Pray for good weather so there will be no delays.

ARRRGGHHH...WHY W/ THE TURNOVERS?. versus THANK YOU ATL DEF and VDW.

Game of the weak comes down to MNF. Cliff was down like 7 points and had Brees. I had Colston. You'd have to like Cliff's chances w/ that set up. Unfortunately for Cliff, Drew had a good game but had some turnovers which cost Cliff. It was quite an experience for me. Every time Brees dropped back to pass, I would be on pins and needles. As the ball went in the air, I'd be hoping for Colston or someone w/ a Falcon jersey on his back to catch the ball. Luckily for me, Colston got some love which included a TD. Sorry Cliff, I tried to help you out as much as possible w/ my horrible defense, kicker and TE. How in the hell do the Cards play that horribly at home against the turnover machine known as Delhomme after a huge win on the road against the G Men? Stupid trap games. I know that you were trying to be equally kind w/ your TE and Wr's not named Andre. I know that Roy E Williams actually scored but I know that you didn't mean for that to happen. I'm pretty sure that Roy was as surprised as anyone else. I actually even tried to one up you but VDW saved me. I was going to trade Desean and Flacco for Fitzgerald and Garrard in essence. There were some other players in the mix but those were the principal players. VDW had initially said yes but put on a skirt and flip flopped. If I had made the deal, I would have lost. Now after all of Desean's home runs, I can't make the deal any more. I really am my worst own enemy. Oh yeah, maybe you should blame the korean bbq too, Cliffy.

I AM THE BIGGEST KOCH IN THE LAND...ROAR!!! versus AT LEAST LDT DID SOMETHING THIS WEEK.

Josh is riding high these days w/ back to back high scores of the week. Rodgers did his best to slay his dragon but having a hologram for an offensive line doesn't help you. You feel for him (Cal bias here.) He's been the good soldier and has bit his lip regarding all of Favre's drama. He's taking the a physical beating w/ the sieve in front of him and you have to wonder if he's taking an emotional one too. He's been big for Josh and if he's smart, he'll be shipping boxes and boxes of duct tape to Lambeau to keep Rodgers' body in one piece. Josh even got the very rare TD pass from his own RB to his own WR. My 49ers tried but it wasn't enough. There are some positives to take from the loss. S Jax even found the endzone for Josh for the 1st time this season too. Unfortunately, Josh suffered his first major injury to his team as Owen Daniels was placed on I.R. Congrats to the Lambs for their first win. It was a great fake field goal. Belated congrats to the Lions for their first win since 07 too. Tim took another loss but may have found a more consistent and potent threat in McShady. As long as the Eagles are winning, I doubt that they'd hurry Westbrook back. LDT even scored twice for Tim. It was against the lowly Raiders though so it doesn't count in the discussion of LDT's demise. The Raiders have been giving up hundred plus yards to opposing running backs throughout the season. I still don't know how the Beagles lost to them. If you want a more telling stat, LDT had 56 yards on 18 rushes. Unfortunately for Tim, he was going against his Vegas bed buddy who had the high for the week. If Manningham doesn't return soon, the only good receiver on his roster is Hines

GO PHILS! versus THE TEAM OF THE DAMNED.

Ben is busy trying to eat as many Lucky Charms as possible for his Phillies. Good luck w/ the rainbow poop. At least McNabb quit over/under throwing his receivers. I can't believe how quickly the Giants fell back to Earth. Everyone just blitzes the day lights out of Eli. In the meantime, Jacobs is a shell of himself and the Giants secondary is woeful. It shows how football is truly a team sport. The defense is susceptible to passing attacks which puts them behind. Eli can't hit his receivers either due to pressure or inaccuracy. The offense can't score and the defense keeps giving up points. At least all the teams in the NFL don't have the passing attacks that the Saints, Cards, and Eagles do. Too bad the Chargers do. Good for Ben, he has Vincent Jackson. Ben should also be happy b/c Turner ran like 08 Turner on Monday night and the Falcons will be playing the Deadskins in an important game. They're 3 games behind the Saints and have lost 2 games to NFC opponents. I don't know if Towns team is really damned but I can see how Towns could feel like his team is. Cutler pouted his way out of Denver and has been less than a franchise QB w/ as more turnovers than TD's. Brian Westbrook started off injured in the preseason and half way through the season, he's got a different injury that's knocked him out. McFadden is a Raider. They get more press regarding the abusive behavior of their coach. Owens scored a TD but would you want to make a bet that he'd do it again this season? These are his fantasy points so far: 4.6, 12.5, 0, 6, 5, 2.2, 2.8, and 12.8. Here are the numbers for Jacoby Jones: 0,13.3, 8.3, 0.6, 0.4, 8.9, 0, and 5.3. The numbers both suck and both still have a bye week coming up. The difference? Jacoby Jones is the Texans 3rd WR. With Owen Daniels injury, Walter will get more love but so will Jones. Towns picks up Moore in the hopes that he's finally healthy in a potent Saints attack. He promptly hurts his shin. As I've previously said, Towns went through a 3 week stretch where he played the high score of the week. In what would have been the 4th week, he went against the 2nd highest score of the week. Sometimes you're the fire hydrant, Big E. For those of you who enjoy a cold brew, here's something painful to see.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

YOU HAVE TO LOVE BRETT. versus. WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MY TEAM/WARNER?

Sho gets the W thanks to Brett's ego and Chris Johnson's part in the resurrection of VY. These two guys were 66% of Sho's score. Once again Sho needs these megaoutbursts from his team because of a lack of consistent production from a large portion of his team. Before the season started and Brett had to chose between beating his old team or winning the Superbowl, I wonder what his heart of hearts would have said. Now he has the chance to have his cake and eat it too. Everyone loves him in Minnesota right now as they should. We'll see what they say when the offseason comes along. Chris Johnson had a huge day for Sho too. When I was visiting Shen in Austin in the summer, B said that we would all see. Vince would have his chance b/c something would happen to Kerry Collins. Shen, can you ask her for the lotto numbers too? I think that the only other person that I know who had any faith in VY was Vish. I think that it was just a matter of time before he would get his chance w/ the Titans' season done. I just didn't think that he would be successful. I wonder what it means for Coach Fisher. Everything that I've read says that Fisher was hesistant to start Vince and never wanted to draft him in the first place. The owner is the only person in Vince's corner but he's the only person that Vince needs on his side. It's interesting b/c I think highly in Fisher and can see him in high demand if he's let go. Are you listening Cowboys/Redskins/Browns/Chargers fans? From Adam Schefter: Jonathan Stewart had surgery before being drafted by the Panthers. The surgeon has connections within the Panthers. Sam Bradford's surgeon has connections within the Redskins. If I remember correctly, I told Sho that the Redskins should have drafted Oher b/c I had doubts about their offensive line. Is their a big name offensive lineman going into free agency? If not, I don't know how Bradford's shoulder stands up to the beating from the blitzes from the Giants and Eagles twice a year. If anyone has a gripe regarding the Cards debacle against the Panthers, I'm sure that it would be Kras. It's like the game was played in the twilight zone where Warner and Delhomme switched places. 6 total turnovers from Warner. Hurrrible. A lot of the DFW people got to see TJ's tirade. Kras was probably in agreement w/ him. I thought that Hasselbeck and TJ had developed some chemistry in the offseason, but it sure looks like Burleson has Hasselbeck's eye.

PEYTON PUT UP A MEDICORE GAME & I STILL WIN. versus YOU'RE WELCOME DENNIS.

Ash gets another win despite Peyton's rather pedestrian production. He really didn't need him. In fact Ash didn't need his WR's, TE, and kicker to beat poor VDW. I wonder if VDW feels worse than the bat or where Manu got his shots. It can get depressing when your team puts up such a horrible score. Here's a little unwanted and uncalled for advice, get Peyton or Brees in either the 1st or 2nd round next year. Don't worry about the magazines. Follow Josh's rule when it comes to ffball. Get a top line QB. When you have some security and a no brainer at what is often the most productive position in our league, it's always a good investment. The good news is that everyone contributed something this week. The bad news is that everyone put up single digits. Your true fantasy love has also started. It's very early but my season's championship hopes lie in the return of a healthy and productive Love and a consistent Dampier. Yeeeesssshhhhhh. Ash gets his request though I think everyone would have seen the video by now. I was wondering about the shots thing like Shen too. True story. I'm telling Les about the bat thing and she says that the bat was probably aiming for Manu's bald spot b/c it's so damn big. Burn....I can't make this stuff up.

SORRY VISH, YOU DID TOO WELL. versus AT LEAST 1 PERSON ON MY TEAM HAD DOUBLE DIGITS.

Vish's kindness or randomness ends up biting himself. I still say that Shen owes him something for his troubles. Shen only needed Romo and Mojo to take care of Vish. They did that well and team Pain did that poorly. Vish should be worried about Slaton's case of fumbilitis. He got the quick hook and the pick up of the week Ryan Moats showed what he could do w/ the ball. At least he isn't injured. The problem is a possible time share. My prediction is that Slaton starts but is on a short rope. Chris Brown gets all short yardage. If Slaton keeps losing the ball, he'll lose his starting job w/ it. At least Vish is in the right division for mediocrity and he was just a victim to an off week. Shen gets the W and is set up to make a very nice trade. He has Ocho, Welker, Jennings, Macklin, and Walter. Walter looks to benefit w/ Owen Daniels' injury. I still don't know about Jacobs. How about Jennings and Jacobs for All Day? Tasty isn't it? I really am my own worst enemy, aren't I? Here's a funny link for you. NSFW b/c it's gross.

http://nextround.net/upcoming/thumbs/2009/11/02/Determine-The-True-Identity-Of-Your-Online-Girlfriend-Flowchart-full.jpg

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

There was really nothing to say about this past weekend's college action. I do have to give Ash's Aggies credit though for somehow beating the Red Raiders. I'm wondering if it was due to the Aggie pre game chanting ritual. I can easily see Ash doing this btw.

Aggie Yell Leader Casey Schaffer from Double B on Vimeo.

The Men's rankings have come out and to no surprise, the Jayhawks took 1 and the Spartans were 2. For some reason, Cal was in the top 20. I predict a quick exit for my Bears. Oh wells. Sorry, there wasn't much video/pics to add this week. In lieu of it, here are some Halloween ideas.

1)For our asian brothers w/ the white significant other.
Jon and Kate. Get an Ed Hardy shirt and she gets the Kate wig.
2)From AOTS, balloon boy. Get a bunch of ballons and pin them to an old scrub w/ the word boy on it. Get a rice bowl wig and walk around and vomit every now and then.
3) For our ladies, get an outlandish pair of sunglasses and a blonde wig. Put something ridiculously stupid and outrageous on like aluminum foil and you're Lady Gaga.
4) Also from AOTS, get some 2 pairs of fake boobies. Cut 1 pair in half. Stuff them down a tight shirt. Put on a black wig. You're the 3 boobed chic from Total Recall.

YOU WILL FEEL DA PAIN versus THE FINAL TITLE FOR TIMMY D

Vish gets the W and takes the division lead. Don't look now but Vish is starting to have a scary team. He's so good that his bench could have beat some teams this week. He even has a 3 TE set that is the envy of anyone who doesn't have D Clark (not Desmond). Vish gets the added joy of having his Texans beat down on my 49ers. Slaton got his work in but lost the ball again. Eventually, that will cost you. We'll see how much Andre's injury will cost the Texans and Schaub. Hurry up and get Walter. At least Vish is going to have to give somebody up if he doesn't want to get rid of his suddenly devastating Patriots D. Ash suffers a loss for the first time in a month. While most people don't put much stock in defenses/special teams, our league's history says that it can be a huge difference and a key to making it into the playoffs. Speaking of injured receivers, we'll see how bad Berrian's injury is. At least Ash has a more than capable old ashhhh Derrick Mason.

I'M BUSY W/ MY I H8 NYC CHANTS versus I NEED MY RB'S AND QB'S TO GET THEIR SHIZZNIT TOGETHER.

Ben finally gets the win. He and team Lee aren't focused on that though. I'm sure that Lauren is getting her first taste of New York sucks chants right now. I'm guessing something like boooo New York. Good luck Ben. I'm rooting for you but Hammels has to find his 08 version if you to beat the Yankees and Kate Hudson. I'm hoping that Ben's brother Albert isn't as insane as the girl in Philly offered something something for some World Series tix. Ben has been cursed w/ a different kind of QB pain this year than VDW. Even when Ben starts the bigger version of himself, he doesn't do well. McNabb has actually put up worse numbers than Kevin Kolb. I don't know what the deal is regarding his under and over throws. VDW has a different frustration as he really hasn't had much consistent, if any, help from the QB spot. He also has 1 RB in Ronnie B but he hasn't been able to find anyone else to give him any consistency. You'd think that he would have pulled off a trade given his receiver strength. You have to make a deal soon b/c the deadline is coming up and you have to make up some games in our division. This was written b4 his trade w/ Vish, btw.

WHY DIDN'T WITTEN GET ANY LOVE versus THANK YOU DREW BREES.

Cliff goes as Brees does. He should send him a thank you for any kind of success that he has each week. He actually has more than Brees. Especially w/ the Washington injury, T Jones gets a lot more love. Ryan Grant finally manned up after Ahman Green's signing and did something for Cliffy too. I doubt that you can count on Ricky having games like that. He's better served as a backup for byes or injuries. Obviously, Cliff has the most to worry about when it comes to Andre's injury. I guess if it's just a chest contusion, he can wear a flack jacket but I don't know how much it will help him for the next game, let alone how it will hurt him in the long run. Once again, where's Kevin Walter? Sho's ship is slowly sinking. I'm sure that he's hoping that the Lions bye week was enough to get Megatron healthy again. He also has to hope that Anquan isn't injured too badly as well. He can still beat me in a 20 yard dash but if you spotted me 15 yards, I'd have a chance. But Sho has the Saints defense who have been very opportunistic of late. If the Saints can keep scoring, opposing offenses will have to go pass happy in order to keep up.

I ONLY HURT MYSELF versus I'LL KINDLY TAKE LASEAN OFF YOUR HANDS, DENNIS.

So Leon got hurt after 1 play. He didn't just get hurt. It was an open fracture of his tib/fib. At least it wasn't a joint injury, so he'll be able to retain his speed and cut back ability. I like Leon and would love to have him in San Francisco. Pound them w/ Gore and make defenses have to catch Leon. I guess that it will only happen in Madden. Oh wells. I get the double pain of dropping LaShady as Westbrook does his yearly injury thing. I'm eating dinner and the TV is on but the volume is off. I'm talking w/ Leslie when I see a lack of action in the corner of my eye. I take a quick look and see that Westbrook is down and not getting back up. I almost spit my food out and go nutz but I use my poker face and don't miss a beat in my conversation w/ Les. Call me crazy, but I think it's important to sit down and have dinner at the table. It doesn't mean that I can't have the TV going on in the distance though. Thank goodness for my ADD abilities. T squared gets to feast off of my mistake. I don't know if he's going to be incredible or not but you have to think that Westbrook's history and age and LaSean's skills will mean more time for LaShady. I even texted Tim about it b/c he's less likely to keep making fun of my mistake than the rest of you clowns. Tim needs to make some moves if he wants to get into the divison race. In other words, trade Matty Ice soon for some help. I said this before on twitter but LaDanian is LaDone. He had 7 shots to get in either at the goal line or within the body length of Big E and he failed. The game was already decided against the poor Chefs and Norv wanted to get him a TD after the griping when Sproles got the goal line carry the week before. Nada. LDT has done too much to accept a lesser role than greatness but there's no shame in being a role player like Corey Dillon on a championship team.

I THOUGHT THAT DENNIS SAID I WAS UNSTOPPABLE versus DON'T LISTEN TO THE MIDGET

Josh gets the high score of the week thanks to double digit contributions from almost everyone. S Jax continues to be the best runner to not find the endzone. Addai doesn't run a lot but does enough w/ the addition of a TD to get into double digits as well. Rodgers destroyed the Browns but no where near as much as Owen Daniels did to my 49ers. Josh should be happy that I was foolish enough to bypass on Sidney Rice to go for Massoquiogonjin. I'm an idiot. Someone remind me that Rice gets 5th round value next year if Favre plays. More importantly, Josh is now in a tie for the division lead w/ Ash. Every little bit helps. Speaking of a little bit, apparently Braylon got into it w/ the short member of LeBron's crew. I believe that he's the guy in the video where a car is broken into and lebron does the old school kid n play ola ola aaa.... dance. Kras gets the loss despite large days from Cedric's revenge game and All Day. He even got Less Evans to produce. Owens who? He also got to reap the rewards of the Browns beatdown in the Packer D. Unfortunately for Kras, Warner didn't go off like Brees did against the G men. Kras still had a good week and would have beaten half the league but much like life, timing is everything.

AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET TO GO AGAINST THE HIGH SCORE versus THANK YOU LONDON FLETCHER.

Towns almost went 4 weeks straight against the high score. This week he went against the 2nd highest score but unfortunately, he wasn't the high score. Poor Towns. At least you aren't a Deadskin fan. It's become so bad that you aren't allowed to bring your own sign to Fedex stadium anymore. I didn't know that Dan Snyder was that sensitive. I guess that John Riggins' nickname of Linus (from Peanuts) was the straw that broke the camel's back. Speaking of broken backs, I wonder if this last loss is the one to break Big E's. He has all of 1 win but has the most points in the division. If it's any solace, you weren't that far away from the high score of the week. A few dropped passes that turn into catches can easily be the difference for you. Of course you could argue that after Manningham's miracle TD, you already had your fill of lucky tipped balls. At least you're in a tight race w/ Tim for All Day next year. So Shen was under the belief that he was going to lose this week. At first, it looked like our whole division would lose but as time went on I told him that he had a great shot on MNF. I didn't think that the great shot w/ be London Fletcher's knee to Westbrook's head but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Shen sits atop the division now and is playing Vish this week. Could this be a preview of the playoffs? I think so. If they do, you can easily say that Vish is responsible for half the teams in the playoffs. Good for you
Vish. Good for you.

My Slant Hopes Information Thoughts

I finally had a Saturday off to watch oodles and oodles of foozeball games. The Gators looked horrible. I'm sure that Sho can elaborate but I was unimpressed by both sides of the ball. I wanted to see the coward/chicken shiznit Petrino get slammed as I will for the foreseeable future, but the Gators weren't interested in playing Clobbersaurus Rex. Outside of Ingram, the Tide looked horrible offensively. But that team's greatness is based on it's defense and they delivered once again. The Gators can't have half as many turnovers against them or it will be game over. The only good looking thing about the Red River game was the women. And of course this one for Shen. (go to the 2 minute mark, I like how Shen knows to stay out of the camera's way.)

I get the idea of going for the national championship and look at what Donovan's kids did at Florida. I was stunned when he bypassed the draft and guaranteed $50 million to go to Detroit. If everyone and your mom and the Amazonian tribesmen who don't watch TV know that you're going to be a top 5 pick w/ all of that guaranteed money, you have to go. Texas was lucky enough to come back from behind again. Maybe this will be their motto for the rest of the season and go undefeated which means a title game against the Crimsongators. But if you lose 1 game and have a bunch of lackluster/needed to come back against a "lesser team" wins in an up and down big 12 conference, I keep thinking that everyone/computer would rather have a rematch of the SEC championship or a 1 loss USC team get in. I love the Colt is going to do great in the NFL clowns out there. Colt meet Applewhite's post college career. I hope you have some great suits and stories about being BMOC while at Austin. Congrats to T squared's triple option offense laying waste to Beamer's boys. I'd love to see them play my Cal bears. It would make for a great video game score. I'm not a Trojan fan except for the ribbed for her kind. But like the rest of the world w/o ties to North Bend, I always root against the Irish. I was going to go nuts if I had to hear a Holtz I told you so/all hail the Irish rant. Thankfully, the much lauded USC defense had enough to keep Clausen from getting his big Irish win. It's looking like he'll be the 1st pick to the Rams btw. Speaking of being highly lauded at one point in time, what has happened to Pryor? If you think that Snead has regressed, check out Pryor. I guess you'd have to have progressed at some point in time in order to regress. Kras, does he get how to play QB in college or is he just running around out there hoping that his supreme athletic ability will be enough each week? Any mental capacity? I'm not going to say anything about the undefeated teams b/c I don't want to be jinx a lot. Speaking of jinxing, sorry Towns. As soon as I say how great the Huskers were, they lay a huge egg at home to the Red Raiders. I can't say his first name Suh did look dominant though. I like to stare at potential players for the 49ers. I don't think the 49ers will be bottom 5 but I think the Panthers have a fighting chance. I still like the Suh's more than the Jayhawks who promptly popped Josh's dream much like a shoulder. I don't know why there are so many Spartan games here but I got to see them win and not mess themselves up enough to make the game closer than what it shoudl be, though the first half sure looked like it. With the exception of the Kansas game, I was able to see a good portion of all of the games that I mentioned. I love sports in HD. My butt is sore. Here's an unwanted yet impressive display of Cal's Jahvid Best from the game against UCLA. I wasn't fond/afraid of the Bush comparison.