VDW

Meanwhile, I'm not thankful for the website that proves my inadequacy as a fantasy football manager - a 65% likelihood of the playoffs? I'm a joke.

I'm not thankful for fantasy football, either. I don't really like it, but keep playing as a way to stay in touch with all of you between basketball seasons. I'm not thankful for the Panthers, the Lions, or the Spartans. I'm not thankful that any team I root for or wager on has about an 80% chance of losing even if they're not the Panthers, Lions or Spartans. I'm not thankful for boosters who want to give Rich Rodriguez and Charlie Weis another chance. Get rid of those bums, and let the 2-4 year coaching cycle continue for another couple of decades of mediocrity!

Me

1) My inability to stay patient. Last year it cost me Owen Daniels. This year it cost me Vischanthesuperlargepenis and Brent Celek. Now I'm left going through the scrap heap as the season is winding down and get to stare at 0 or almost 0 each week. Aaarrghhh!

2) That despite all my effort and talk, Vishal crushes me each year by leaps and bounds.

3) The inconsistency of my wide receivers. I either get zero or a billion. Maddening.

4) How Golden State finds a new way to obliterate my hopes each year. This year, the depression set in well before Thanksgiving.

5) Not being able to see what's on the top shelf. It will always be a mystery to me much like Cal and the Rose Bowl.

Ben

Being unable to pick a defense that scores positive points.
Being unable to pick the right QB to start.
Steve Smith (Panthers) doing worse than his evil twin also named Steve Smith. (Although recently the good Steve Smith has reemerged)
Brandon Jacobs has not gotten injured.
Picking up Chris 'Torture" Chambers even though he's on my "I will never draft you ever again because you suck and cause nothing but aggrevation for me" list which started back in the day with Pearless Price.
Possibly finishing behind Vish in anything fantasy, although one might argue that Vish's forte is anything fantasy...

Sho

Calvin Johnson's knee & Matthew Stafford's inability to learn the QB position - If CJ had been the monster he could be, with the year CJ#1 is having, my team would be worth reckoning with.  
Anquan Boldin's right ankle - But honestly the guy is so freakin tough I can't even complain.  He's a beast.  
Jessica Simpson leaving - clearly Romo stopped looking Witten's way immediately after she left.  Why Tony Why?  
Handcuff picks that leave me feeling.... handcuffed.  What good have JStew and CTaylor done for me all year other than taking up valuable roster space I could have packaged in a trade for the draft rights to.... Tay Cody   :)

Kouche

The fragility of ACLs everywhere, in particular the one in Owen Daniels' right knee.
Hamstrings. Hate them. Who came up with this name? I don't remember seeing in hamstrings in Roger (my cadaver in medical school). I particularly hate Pau's hammies.
Receivers who share names with famous news broadcasters.

Ash

Fucking wide receivers. Fucking defense. Fucking vishal beating me

Vish

Feeling like each time I start Slaton waiting for the attack of the butterfingers

Seeing the Saints turn the distribution of carries into the Pats backfield south

Cliffy

brees teasing me every week. reggie wayne and randy moss. drafting clippers. not drafting ab.

Kras

In terms of Fantasy football, am I limited to just this season? If not, I am least thankful for Tom Brady's ACL tear last year in week 1, hence decimating my entire season.

Or this year, everyone in my division wants to switch change divisions. I can't figure it out since my team is not over-powering. (At least not since 3 years ago when I won the league with a really loaded team led by LT.)

The fact I always lose to Ellie and Emily Koch. I beat him once 3 years ago, which I gave the credit to Sydney. But I have another little one arrive this year, and no help. I continue to be fodder when faced with a match-up against Koch.

That fact that I am in a WR fantasy league, and have so little depth at WR that I play 2 TEs most weeks.

If you are looking at the sports teams I route for:

I am a fan of a baseball team that has gone 101 years since last winning the championship. Chicago Cubs, if it takes forever.

I AM thankful for Jim Tressel's success as Ohio State's coach, 1 National Championship, 5 straight Big Ten Championships, etc. But the gut-wretching agony it takes to watch Ohio State when it seems like every game comes down to the very end, week after week, year after year, is going to shorten my life span.

I am not thrilled that Rose Bowl tickets are going to cost me as much as they will. But it is the Grand-Daddy of Them All, and I have had few experiences as awesome as the Rose Bowl.

In terms of OSU basketball, it would be nice to not have so many one-and-done players go through the program. Though I am not sure B.J. Mullins was such a loss to the NBA. He couldn't start at OSU, and he will be in the developmental league in the NBA. So I am not so sad he is gone.

Big E

1. I'm not thankful for my team's RB history. This year, my #1 pick just stinks. It hurts worse than having him out with injury. Instead, my back-ups are out.

2. I am not thankful for the QB Freefall. It has led to me having mediocre QB, one of which is now hurt.

3. I am not thankful for going up against the top scoring team in the league for 3 weeks straight. Then, when I have a chance to win, they flounder hopelessly.

4. Picking up and starting Miles Austin at exactly the right time and still losing (see point 3).

T squared

5.  I don't have Peyton Manning.
4.  The combination of Clinton Portis / LT freakin SUCKS!
3.  I have never started what ended up being my best possible lineup in 10 weeks.  Pure chance should dictate I would have done this at least once.
2.  I offered 3 trades for Matt Ryan, and no one was interested.
1.  Rasho Nesterovic is apparently ineligible

Last and certainly not least...Slattshot

The Airing of Grievances:

-Too many Jaguars.  In full disclosure, I brought this pain to myself, as I am a Jacksonville fan.  But with Drew Brees at QB, David Garrard got in once and left a humongous shit stain on my team.  Torry Holt, Marcedes Lewis, and Josh Scobee haven't even sniffed the field.  I wanted a token Jaguar on my team and gave myself four.  Fuck me.

-Week 6.  My entire team had 4 touchdowns.  My starters and bench players had FOUR fucking touchdowns.  My opponent had Michael Turner, who had three, and Jeremy Maclin, who decided to come out of witness protection and drop 32 points on me.  For once in my life, I knew how it felt to be a Cleveland Browns fan, with no talent and no hope.  The darkest day in the history of the M.I.T. Thundering Nerd.

-Michael Crabtree.  Dude, you get sand in your vagina because you won't make as much as Darrius Heyward-Bey?  You do realize he'll be making delicious Subway sandwiches in three years, right?  I wasted a mid to late round pick on your douchebag ass, dropped you because you refused to play when you could have been destroying the NFC West, and then GET BEAT by the team that picked you up on the first week you decided to play.  I hope Mike Leach shoves an authentic pirate peg leg up your ass.

-Getting beat by the league idiot.  I know every league has one, that guy (or girl) who has no clue what they're doing when they draft, can't put a lineup together worth shit, yet their team gets nuclear hot the one week they play you, then goes back to eating paste the rest of the season.  I barely dodged that bullet in week 10, when Pierre Fucking Garcon saved me.  I feel pain for anyone in this league who has had to suffer that fate.  And to paraphrase a poker idiom, if you don't know who the idiot is in your league, chances are pretty good it's you.

Thank you again for this opportunity, and good luck to everyone the rest of the season.

-Slatt