I LIKE CRUSHING THE LITTLE MAN.

I don’t know if any of you used to watch Kids in the Hall. It was a Canadian version of SNL and they had this sketch where one guy would use his thumb and index finger to “crush” another person’s head. It was stupid and funny at the same time. It was what Josh did to Denise. Shen’s description of the Poor as a bunch of half empty players came to pass. I’ve already said how the Cards and therefore Warner bombed horribly. Bob Sanders didn’t play and the Colts defense really suffered. It’s hard to really love anyone else on the Poor team except Megatron. I still wonder if Josh got to the Cowboys and convinced them that Denise would lose. Did any of you see Roy Williams block Witten from getting into the end zone? And then the Cowboys decided to go for the 2 pt conversion instead of the extra point for Folk. Conspiracy against Denise? I’d say it’s more Koshua having a better team. He didn’t score a lot of points and he’ll be the underdog against Towns but you never know. I do know that Romo looked stiff as he walked around after the beating that he took from the G-men. There was this little kid and his dad screaming about the Giants being midgets behind Cliff and myself at the game. You’d hear all the people just cursing around the kid and other kids that were in the vicinity. It was like watching a Spurs game w/ vAsh. It makes me think that there is no way that I’m ever taking a child to a game. It’s not worth it and it’s way too expensive. Anyways, I think Koshua will be the heavy underdog b/c other than Thomas Jones, I don’t think he’ll have a lot of great matchups. Barber will either face the Ravens or Fatty will face the Steelers. I also think the Jets look very suspect. After their big win against the Titans, they've really come down to earth. The lost to the Broncos at home and to the 49ers on the road. They beat the Bills but they didn't deserve it. The defense looked horrible against the Bills and 2nd stringer Losman. There was 1 play where they had initially stopped the Bills running back from getting into the end zone. All you could see was a bunch of Jets pile on the running back at about the 1 yard line. The running back just kept on going though and made his way through all of them. It was then followed by all the Jets fans booing their team. Imagine Big E and VDW and 3 other guys their size piling on Vish and failing to stop him.

"Head Crusher vs. Face Pincher" by Kids in the Hall - watch more funny videos

NO ONE STOPS THE TOWNS.

Despite Denise’s early predictions, Erin gets the decisive win. It looked bad after Thursday night’s game when Bleemia pulled ahead thanks to Pierre Thomas. The Chefs strategy to play to lose and get a better draft slot helped Ben too as Rivers had a monster 2nd half. It wasn’t enough though as the rest of the H8ers had a less than stellar performance. Here’s my penis in the background and my name isn’t Cooley had a poor game. Ginn had almost nothing too. Ben will blame Fitzgerald for running off to the side of a milk carton but you can blame the whole Cardinals team for looking horrible. If I’m a Cards fan, I’m ecstatic over making it to the playoffs for the first time in forever. Unfortunately, I think they’ll be out in round 1 when they have to travel for their first game. Ben can really blame Kevin Faulk and the Patriots for being the Raiders over w/o the KY for his defeat. I still say that Cassell and offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels go off to Detroit. VDW says it’s failed in the past. I say that you’re better off getting these two and drafting tackle Andre Smith. I think that you’d be greatly improved on offense. Would you rather have that team and a rookie QB at the helm? Towns also gets big love from kicker Mare too. Surprisingly, Towns best RB was on the bench. I doubt that he’ll use Choice even if Barber doesn’t start b/c you don’t run on the Ravens defense. At least the Saints are playing the Lions this week so I’m anticipating a big day for Brees and company.

IT'S VISH'S WORLD. WE'RE JUST LIVING IN IT.

I'm just going to spend the rest of the blog talking about random stuff since the rest of the games only count for the weekly prize. First of all, Vish rules all w/ an iron fist. He's like a demi-god on an every other week basis which corresponds with his 500 record. He can do no wrong and everything is just going his way like beating T squared for the high score by 1 yard. Here's a somewhat long clip that represents Vish's super days.


Soumya is also running hot with his Gators going to the BCS championship for the 2nd time in 3 years. I think they'll win and I hope to remember to check out Bleemia for my wager. I thought that Bradford deserved the Heisman but Harrell should have received an invite to NYC. Here's a stupid rap video dedicated to Sho's man crush.


But all is not perfect in the land of Soumya as his Skins have taken a major slide backwards from earlier in the season. Zorn is no longer the toast of the town and Campbell's no longer as effective/efficient as he was in the 1st half of the season. Here's a video displaying a Skins fan's pain on gamedays. I wonder if he's talking to Soumya.


Here's an early list of the top fantasy running backs for next year. It doesn't take schedules or changes in coaches or linemen into account.
1) All Day- (Malkovich's voice from Rounders) He's a monster. He's the most likely candidate to go off for 20 points each week.
2) Westbrook- He's missed games again but he's the cog to the Eagles attack.
3) DeAngelo- As long the Panthers can keep Jordan Gross and the rest of the line intact, I have no doubts that he can continue his success. He'll lose more carries to Stewart next year but he has more explosive potential between the 2.
4) Forte- He runs and catches from the Bears backfield. I think he'll get more time on the field next year when he learns how to pick up the blitz.
5) Turner- The backup surpasses the starter. He's the focal point to the Falcons attack and doesn't have the mileage that LDT has.
6) T. Jones- I don't know if Favre will be back but if he's there, then I think that the Jets will still be able to run and Thomas will benefit.
7) LDT- He hasn't had a bad season, he's just fallen back to mortal status.
8) Barber- I'm ranking him this low in the hopes that he somehow falls to me in the upcoming draft. If they just worked him like they use Westbrook in Philly, he'd be a monster.
9) Chris Johnson- I'm not too sure about the quarterback situation for the Titans next year. I am sure that they'll run a lot and Chris has the explosiveness to break one each time. If he didn't share the ball with Fatty as much, he'd get a higher rank.
10) Portis- I have a feeling that of all the running backs listed, he's the most likely one to suffer a huge drop off due to all of his mileage.

YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS, KRAS.

Congrats Kras on your victory and prize this week. I hope that it serves as inspiration for everyone that you never know what will happen. Except that vAsh will suck and lose again. Can we make a rule that you can’t have the #1 pick 2 years in a row? We’ll call it the vAsh rule or something. He’ll cry and moan about it but maybe you’re really better off w/o such a burden. I don’t know what happened to the vaunted Buc defense but DeAngelo just gashed him. I’m sure that Vish is gushing over him and he’ll be a hot pick in next year’s draft. I think that it’s funny that Kras’s starters consisted of waiver wire pick ups except for Grant, Housh, and Kaeding. Kras might not be able to draft but you can find waiver wire wonders throughout the season. Keep it up Kras and you still might make yourself some money for the year. Shen comes up short despite a solid week. It really came down to the last game of the regular season which is what we all want. Every game and point mattered. Chris Johnson will be a top 10 pick next year and Cutler and Marshall will be high picks for their positions as well.

HERE COME THE BUBBAS

Josh is the hottest team entering the playoffs as he’s taken care of business. We’ll call him the anti-Cliff. His team didn’t score a lot but he won and that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. Romo looked horrible but who doesn’t against the Steelers defense especially on Heinz field. The Barberian didn’t make it on the field but Koshua has other runners in T Jones and Fatty. Denise is hoping that Barber is listed as probable so Josh will have to make a tough decision. You have to give him credit for his receiving core. He started out without a “top” player but was able to scrounge up some pretty good player in Walter. He’ll be going against himself as he has the Texans opponent in the Titans defense this week. He also has Owen Daniels so he’ll be playing the house against himself routine as he goes in as the favorite against Denise. It’s not b/c the Krotchuas have a super duper team but Denise is stumbling into the playoffs. We’ll go more into that later. Towns loses but still takes the division. I’m sure that Big E is wondering when Addai will take over. I’ll say that everyone w/ a “U” on their helmets will be quite successful against the Lions this week. I don’t know how well Brees will do if the weather is horrible in Chicago. His wide receivers have suddenly abandoned Towns and this could be his Achilles heel. Denise has experienced a lot of the feast or famine from Lee Evans in the past. The Bills have just fallen like a meteor through a wet paper bag that Vish is holding since Trent Edwards concussion. I don’t know how well Bernard will do if Frerotte is still out. I think that the more important issue is if the Williamseseses will lose their legal battle and get suspended. If the Vikings defense can’t keep the Cardinals potent attack in check, I can’t see the Vikings keeping up if they have to pass each down. I think the Vikings need to keep control of the ball with the running attack aka All Day and go play action in order to win. The “Moose” has a great match up against the Denver defense but I think that we all saw that the Panthers’ key to success is to run and run and run and go play action to Dukes of Lightening. If Cutler goes off early and often, I don’t know how if Delhomme can keep throwing. Big E has Gonzo who's been the best TE this year. He has been able to contribute on an otherwise horrible Chefs team. Big E may not like his team but it's hard to go up against Brees who can put up 30 any week as long as the weather isn't horrible. I am setting the line at push between groom and groomsman. I'm not too sure if Josh represents the girl knocking out the guy or if the "other" guy is really Cliff and he has himself to blame.

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VISH IS THE SCARIEST TEAM OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS

OG Vish almost won another high score of the week. Thankfully, Kras was able to overcome his dark magic. In all seriousness, Vish has done very well this season and has a handful of weekly high scores w/ a few more games left to play. If it wasn’t for Antonio Bryant’s huge game w/ an incredible circus catch in the end zone, Vishy would have had another weekly prize. He has the highest point total so far but it’s also about timing. He also has the #1 and #3 runners this season. I vote that he draft for junior Vish next year. He can’t do any worse than the projected worse records for 2 years in a row. Bleemia captures the division thanks to the Texans last week. I laugh at your own team costing you Vish. I can only laugh at you for this reason b/c your Pain has done very well this year. I hope that your boards went well too. Anyways, Ben captures the division but has the 3rd highest point total in it. He’s lucky and gets a first round match up against Big E. I think that his receivers will be okay but I wonder what Ben will do at his RB spots. Jacobs has questions around his knee. Pierre should get the rock “if” they try to run against the Bears and Bush isn’t healthy. I think that the Colts are a different defense if Sanders is healthy so I don’t know about Kevin Smith. You don’t start a running back against the Steelers so McClain is out. At least he has Rivers against the Chefs. I think that’s an easy 20 points. So here's a video of something totally unrelated and I can't think of a way to tie into anything. I just thought that it was a cool ride that all of us would like to try as shameful as it may seem.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

CHOKES ON CHEN

Geez. Sorry Cliffy. You can still make money w/ the weekly prizes but you've got to be feeling pretty down right now. If you want to see another choke job, see the video below. Someone come up w/ a sentence using the word pristine and Cliff's choke job. He beat Vish2 this week which isn't say much but he lost the division where he was the leader for the majority of the season and got kicked out of the playoffs by 55.2 points. Over the course of 14 games, that's just 4 points a week. It's also why each game is important b/c 1 more win by Cliff or 1 more loss by either Big E or Josh and Cliff's in. Sorry Cliff. There's always the inevitable injury by Yao or T-Mac and the first round ouster by the Jazz to look forward to.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I'M CONCENTRATING ALL MY THOUGHTS ON T-E-B-O-W.

Sho is off in Gator land and I’m sure that he’s trying to figure out how to get to Miami on January 8 if he hasn’t already. I’m wondering if the coconut bra will make another appearance. Steve Slaton continues his impressive rookie season. I agree w/ Peter King’s assessment that this has been an incredible season for rookies. Matt Ryan and Flacco have led their teams into playoff contention. Chris Johnson has been a key to the Titans 1 loss season. Forte has been the Bears offense for the whole season. Slaton will allow the Texans to say bye bye or super cheap discount salary for Ahman Green. On the flip side, T squared continues to try and turn his season around aka ride Peyton and Westbrook 4 eva. He lost but was competitive thanks to these two. I should also mention Wes Welker's great season. He's the master of the underneath route and is tough to boot. Check out Wes Welker stay alive after this hit. Dangshizzle. I'd be wondering if I was still in Lubbock. I wonder if coach Leach will be wondering why he's still there in a year? I'm secretly hoping that Cal will somehow convince him to go Pac 10 and lead a revolution of bizzare activities in Berkeley.

I FEAR AN EARLY EXIT.

Denise stumbles into the playoffs and looks very suspect right now. If Warner and the Colts defense don’t go off, I don’t know how he can win unless the Krotchuas bottom out. His running backs have don’t little or close to it and outside of Megatron and Witten, his receivers have done zippo. But he’s in the playoffs and anything can happen. VDW’s season continues to disappoint him. He didn’t have a great chance this week w/ Portis hurt and going against the Ravens defense. I wish that I could say more about his team but what can you really say? At least he's made money which is more than you can say for Vish2, Shen, and Chokes on Chen so far. We'll see what happens w/ Bleemia and the Krotchuas in the playoffs. So I remember one of my first trips to Vegas when I went to Crazy Horse 2. I was w/ one of my buddy's buddy who in order to protect his identity we'll call Justin from L.A. who became an anesthesiologist. A dancer was on my lap trying to convince me that I wanted a dance and I said that I was cool and just enjoying the environment. Back then, I didn't have the funds to throw about like a fool and I had to figure out the best value for my dollar. So the dj says that the next song will come w/ a t-shirt from the club. I jumped all over that and got a dance. For those of you who went to my first pajama party, I wore that shirt that night. I can't find it anymore and I suspect a girl or my Mom took it from me. Anyways, I'm there enjoying my dance and the girl who's dancing on Justin's lap leans over to me and says that my friend is having a good time. I remember wondering, "No duh. You're grinding on him. Geez these girls are nice to look at but empty as hell in the head." I realized what she meant later on that night and I punched Justin for being that close to me (1 foot away) when it happened.

SATURDAY NIGHT WAS GOOD 4 MY BROS.

Congrats to Soumya and his Gators for getting to the championship game again. It was a great game w/ the exception of the last quarter where you could see Florida really pull away. I think it was a great display of Florida’s strength on both sides of the ball. Alabama was able to put up points and control the ball for some time but they failed to stop the Gators/Tebow when they needed to. As expected, the Sooners ran all over the Tigers and will be facing Florida in the championship game. I still think that the Longhorns got hosed but all I’ll do is laugh at them. I’m glad that there’s enough time where Bradford and Harvin can heal up and be close to 100%. I think the early line has the Gators favored by 3. I’ll take them because I think that their defense will get more stops against the vaunted Sooner offense than vice versa. How can you go against the best Filipino QB ever and Soumya? I watched the Pacquiao/De La Hoya fight on Saturday night. Most of you won’t know this but almost every Filipino in the world watched that fight. It’s an exaggeration but not too far off from the truth. When a 3rd world country has anyone succeed on a world wide level, he’ll be the king of the land. He’ll also become a politician and quite possibly president in the near future as long as he stays popular. It’s sad but true. He’s so popular that there was close to no violence or traffic in the whole country as everyone and their momma watched. They showed the fight on the side of a building for the people to see. Unfortunately, the fight was more like target practice. DLH is too old and slow. Pac Man is in his prime and kept connecting on shots throughout the night and DLH barely touched him. It would have been great to see Oscar minus 5 years when he had his speed. I think that he’s made $100 million w/ his fights and promotions so I’m not sad for him. Amazingly, I called the fight in 9. DLH didn’t answer after the 8th round. Too bad Bleemia didn’t get my text about placing a bet for me. Whatevers. I'm glad that McHale will finally get put on the hot seat for his poor decision making since the Latrell Spreewell years. Right now, I'd rather be a Thunder fan. Both teams are horrible but where would you rather live during the winter? The Spurs and Mavs had a great game Tuesday night. vAsh is happy as hell to see his Spurs survive double OT to win. For all of you Mavs fans aka Josh, where the hell was Dirk when it mattered the most? If he's that great or an MVP type player, doesn't he need to get/demand the ball in those clutch moments? Look at Stephon Curry. He led Davidson's comeback and eventual win Tuesday night. I love how the PTI guys said that the Knicks had to do everything in their power to get Stephon for further King James bait.

My Own Texans Beat Me versus Urban’s Better than Saban.

I know that some people may have lost interest in the league but it’s really come down to the last game of the regular season. The league leaders through the majority of the season have fallen back to the rest of the pack and are in danger of missing the playoffs. The bottom feeders except for Vish2 have shown their mettle and played integral roles in the playoff picture. They’ve shown that they’re anything but bottom feeders. The game of the week goes to this showdown in the SugarIvy League. Ironically, the original Vish’s team cost him a shot in the playoffs. It was a good display of Vish’s Texans against an injured and fallen Jaguars squad. The Texans have a pass rusher and play makers at receiver, running back, and tight end. They need more consistency which I think will come with a healthier squad and time. I’d be looking for offensive line help in the draft. Del Rio looks like he’ll be out the door at the end of the season. Vish has had a very good season for a non playoff team and he can teach junior Vish a thing or two about sports. Sho gets the money for the week, but he’s got bigger things on his mind as his Gators are a game away from the Championship game. Good luck Sho. I also have to share something w/ all of you, especially the Dads w/ daughters. Here’s a name that you could have used or any of you could use in the future. L-ea. The pronunciation is after the next game recap.

I’m the hottest thing around versus I think State will be better in the Dance.

So Kras is too hot to handle, too cold to hold. He’s not a Ghostbuster but he’s in control. Who would have thought that the guy who sang that song would become a back up point guard for the Kings? Anywhooo, Kras shows vAsh what it means to have heart and to fight till the end. As Shen said, I don’t know how he knew to sit the hot Cassel and start the rookie QB, but he did. It’s probably b/c you’d rather have anyone against the Bengals defense instead of the Steeler’s. It doesn’t matter though b/c getting the win is the bottom line. Denise hopes his streak gets to 5. VDW suffers the loss as it looks like Collins was the only Titan who didn’t go off against the Lions. Forte did well once again and I predict that he’ll be VDW’s pick next year if he’s still around. I know that VDW’s a proud Dad of 2 girls and that he likes to drink. The video below is a reason why you don’t want to play w/ kids when you drink. The pronunciation is Lee-dash-ah. Are you kidding me? Really? You want your daughter to be the subject of ridicule and embarrassment from elementary school to high school. Her only hope is to be the most popular girl in school or be really hot or be really rich. Why don’t I just hit a bunch of buttons on my keyboard and tell me people that in my people’s country, it means sacred child of nature? I’m waiting for some Star Wars fans to have a kid and name him or her @@.

Stupid Jets defense versus Awesome Broncos offense.

Shen gets the win to extend his season as Cutler proves to be better than Brett in the cold and windy conditions of the Meadowlands. Shen also gets the double bonus from Cutler’s tosses to Marshall and Scheffler. I actually think Shen’s biggest contribution came from the sad state of affairs in Detroit. Chris Johnson went off though I think that he couldn’t have had a bigger day if Detroit had any kind of team. For some reason, Shen had the foresight to drop Prater and pick up Folk. Congrats to you for extending your season. I guess that Denise had a good reason to put out the bounty on you. It might not be enough. Denise gets the loss and can thank the New York Bretts for coming up so small in their own home. Coles and Bradley did next to nothing and it cost Denise. At least he had the foresight to pick up the Colts defense who have Cincy, Detroit and Jax coming up. I don’t know if it will matter for him but at least he still has a 1 game advantage on Shen w/ a 40 point cushion. If Denise misses the playoffs, this will be his reaction minus the puppet.

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The trade almost cost me versus the trade almost cost you.

Congrats to Bleemia for being the first to make the playoffs. He needed help from the Sho and the Texans, but he got in and that’s all that counts. He’ll need his team to rally though as the rest of his teams looks shaky outside of Jacobs, Fitzgerald, and Jennings. Kevin Smith got hurt but has some favorable run defenses for the playoffs if Sanders is out. Plax is gone and likely for good given the Giants success w/ the hard line stance. You don’t have a safety on? Really? You’re out in public w/ a gun next or near to your groin and you don’t have your safety on? You could easily do damage to yourself or someone else around you. You’re in a club and you could be drinking and it could go off that easily. Or maybe you’re full of it and there’s something else going on and you’re protecting your sorry asssshish. Anyways, congrats to T Squared for continuing the trend of super upsets. A lot of the credit goes to former H8er member, Westbrook. He shredded the Cards and took the spotlight off questions around McNabb’s poor play prior to the game. He also got a monster game from Rod Bironas who joined in on the beat the Lions funfest in Detroit. The point is to find anyone who’s playing against the Lions. I wonder if All Day is in for 200 yards or more this weekend. Grandmama also showed up but for some reason, Peyton played horribly against the Brownies. Vish should look to Tim and Kras for some inspiration or perhaps he should just ask Reina to pick players for him. Could you be so horrible that you get the #1 pick for 2 years in a row? Yes, you can. In honor of T squared, here's a video of a politician from Georgia. I wish that Tim wasn't so busy w/ an actual life so he could tell us about this guy.

How can I fall so quickly from the mountain top versus It’s when I’m on your monkey asssshhhhh.

The once lucky Chens have lost their magic and are now on the outside looking into the playoffs. The lesson is that each game matters and so does each point. Cliff isn’t out. He needs to win w/ a loss from Josh or win and have Shen win the Rose Bowl division. At least he’s playing Vish and that’s as close a gimme as playing A & M or Baylor on Saturdays. At least he has a “healthy” S Jax back and might survive to make it another game. Bush came back but did very little. At least he has Frerotte playing against the Lions next week. He’s also playing the stopper. He’s like the stopper in baseball who can stop a losing streak b/c he’s that great a pitcher but instead vAsh is so horrible you can’t lose to him. The Pack continue their winning ways and look to be in the playoffs unless they lose and score 1 point this week. In other words, you’re in baby. You’ll need better games than this past weekend’s but your week wasn’t as horrible as Lindell’s. I can’t believe how horribly he missed his kicks. It was in bad weather but I think that being a Bills kicker is just heart break waiting to happen. Here's an old school remix for something old yet new as well.

Geez you’re horrible versus geez I’m horrible.

Koshua gets the win over the horribly sad team from vAsh. It must have given Krotchua joy to watch T Jones be the lone successful New York Brett this week. It hurts Denise and proves him wrong once again. He’ll be a top 10 pick next year barring injury. The Cowboys beat the daylights out of the poor Seahawks as they continue to stay hot on the run for the playoffs. The Titans obliterated the Lions and Josh benefited w/ the Titan defense. These games weren’t a surprise but it was somewhat surprising to see that Josh only needed 2 players to outscore poor vAsh. Could vAsh’s season get any worse? I don’t think that it could w/ or w/o his help. Speaking of sad, here's a sad fellow.

Goodbye Fulmer.

So did the Volunteers really underachieve so badly over the last few years that Fulmer needed the door? I guess the boosters and AD said yes and that’s all that matters in the end. I just wonder if they’re just over reacting and the Vols will pay the price, Wolverine style. So Lane Kiffin will get the job now and bring his pop w/ him. I wonder what effect it will have on the vaunted Bucs defense. If Brooks is still around, I think they’ll be okay. You should read the SI story on how Brooks studies and preps for games. The BCS madness is here again and is great for debate. I still don’t know how things will change but if we can have a black President, then there’s hope. I hate being on the same side w/ the Longhorns, but I have to admit that they deserve the nod over the Sooners. If it’s down to two teams, then things get settled on the field. The Red Raiders and Emily will argue that they belong in the talk, but you almost lost to Cliff’s Baylor Bears. You didn’t lose and that’s the bottom line but you need to finish strong in order to be considered a top dog. The Bears are a dog team and barely beating them at the end of the season takes you out of contention in my book. How much of a chance do you think you have if Crabtree can’t run and Harrell has busted fingers? I think it’s funny that the Aggies actually hurt the Longhorns more by being a horrible team than being competitive. I think it’s the first time that vAsh can be proud for sucking assssshhh. On the other side of the championship game, we’ll either see some Tide or some Gators. Sho will be hoping that Harvin will be good to go. Either way, Tebow will be waiting and will go blood and guts in order to win. Filipinos are tough like that. Pacquiao in 6 though I fear De La Hoya’s uncanny ability to overcome the odds. Anyone want to watch the fight w/ me? Congrats to T squared’s big win over the No Show Bulldogs. Good for you Tim. Biggest congrats goes to Koch’s Jayhawks for their great win over the Northern champs. Great win for the big fat coach.

The Most Interesting Man in the World

So I apologize for not being able to put up the weekly video last week. I was busy w/ work and then took off for Vegas. Once again, I had too much to drink and couldn't sleep. I think the call of greed is too strong for me there and my subconscious doesn't allow me to rest. I met this guy there who is either a pathological liar or really one of the most interesting people that I've ever met. Apparently, he's an online poker player who has made quite a bit of money over the years playing in a lot of sit and go games w/ big time fish. He actually gets a kick back from the rake at the poker site that he plays in b/c he brings in so much money. He's done so well that he can fly off on a whim and try to meet some black jack dealer that had him enthralled by just a conversation that he had w/ her just 2 weeks ago in vegas. He told her that he'd meet her for ice cream in 2 weeks and he just showed up w/o getting her name, number, email to confirm the meeting. Obviously, the girl was a no show which is why I met the dude. We were staying at the Venetian concierge suites where there's an open bar b/c you're willing to spend like you're a baller. My 2 buddies were able to write off the trip so they covered the hotel and he is rich w/ "unlimited" funds. I felt sorry for the guy b/c he was alone in Vegas after trying to meet this woman unlike any he has met before. This is coming from a guy who says that he's dated models and gone off to "holidays" w/ them to all sorts of tropical locations. He's also british so I don't know if I was buying what he was selling b/c of the accent or cause I was already drinking when I met him. Anyways, I told him that he was welcome to join us for dinner and he accepted. On the way there, he was looking for chicks and he'd say that we were doctors who worked in iran and w/ sick kids throughout the country. I countered that he was James Bond. I think that he actually had money though b/c he was willing to buy $1000 bottles of sake at dinner on his dime. My buddy was sane though and kept it to the $400 bottles of sake. The hostess liked him and he took off w/ her. That's where we lost him that night. The next morning I see him going to the ATM machine and ask him how things went. He said that he somehow lost his card at the restaurant and passed out in the hotel room w/o the hostess. He had almost no cash and no other card that worked. I thought that he was going to hit me up for a loan but he was able to scrounge up some money in his pockets and he tipped the poker room concierge for comping his total stay at the Venetian w/ it. I've never really met anyone that made me wonder what it would be like to be in his shoes until this guy. If he's legit, he's rich as a mofo, dates models, plays poker for a living and has total freedom to do what he likes when he likes. You can check him out at punterzpoker.blogspot.com.

I’m coming for all of you versus It’s Spurs time baby.

This is the game of the week but it's due to Towns just missing out on the high score of the week. Vash hasn’t done too well this season and I’m sure he’ll say it’s b/c he’s been busy praying to the injury gods for his Spurs. So far, it’s worked b/c Manu’s back earlier than expected. His team has some good players in Eli, LDT, Gates and Fists of Fury. Unfortunately, Vash’s years and years of fantasy sports have failed to produce any other reliable players for him. On the other hand, Vish has done quite well. It’s funny and painful at the same time like a groin shot. Towns has the scariest team going down the stretch. Brees has been a monster and Addai has a very favorable set of games. It’s not a stretch of the imagination to see both players getting a total of 50 points a week. It won’t take much for him to win each week if that happens. He’s the guy you don’t want to face in the playoffs regardless of seeding.

I might miss out on the playoffs but I’ll be taking home more money than a lot of you and probably someone who actually makes it to the playoffs versu

The House brings it once again and claims another high score prize. You’ve really got to give it Vish. He’s done quite well and doesn’t deserve 1/3 of the cap that I give him. My hat’s off to you Vish. Congrats on your season. If Brady didn’t go down, it wouldn’t be hard to imagine you as the top dog of the season. I’m actually wondering if you’d be kind enough to impart some fantasy advice/wisdom next preseason. T squared goes down and is probably busy doing something else. He stands to have a top 3 pick next year. I’m guessing it will be: All Day, Barber, and Turner.

I’m glad that my team finally showed up versus where did my team go?

I wonder if VDW is wondering why T.O. didn’t say something earlier this season so his fantasy team would have a shot at the playoffs. It’s too little too late but the weekly high score is always a possibility if T.O. and Forte can go off. For the record, Forte is top 5 next year. I’ve already said that Ryan is a top 10 QB for next year. It’s not a surprise that the Shenanigans have followed the Broncos offensive struggles and are almost out of the playoffs. I think that Marshall will be a top 5 receiver for next year and that Cutler will be a top 10 QB too. It won’t take much for them to be a powerhouse once again if the Broncos had any defense and if they had a consistent running game. Both Gore and Chris Johnson had bad games which didn’t just cost him a game; it cost him a lot of points in the standings. It might not get to the second tie breaker in points but every bit helps. He’ll need to win both games, have Denise lose both games, and make up 50 points at the same time. It’s not impossible, but it won’t be easy.

I thought the trade was supposed to give me the best Colt receiver versus thank goodness for my depth.

Sho gets the best Colt wide receiver but the most productive one ended up on his bench. It’s painful but not as painful as being a Charger fan this year. They’ve been a huge disappointment and I can see Cowher getting hired to replace Norv Turner. There’s no way that you could have seen that Gonzalez would outperform Wayne. I can see that playing/having any Brown outside of Winslow version 2.0 is asking for failure. Ben gets the win thanks to having some great depth on his team. Ward is an effective and important backup to the yearly injury waiting to happen in Jacobs. He also made some great pickups in Gostowski and Ginn Jr. He’s in with a win but could lose the division to Vish with 2 losses. I’m sure that there might be a way for Sho to get in but I don’t want to hurt my brain.

Talk about limping into the playoffs versus I need a little help from my friends.

Josh gets the win stands 1 game behind Cliff and Towns. He’ll need to win both games and he’ll probably be rooting for Cliff to win next week against Towns. It would give Cliff the division but Josh would control his own fate with a win and in game against big E. Josh is also happy w/ his Cowboys win but I wan’t impressed. The 49ers are a sad turnover team and it would have been a lot closer if they made TD’s instead of FG’s from inside the Cowboys 10 twice. Josh will also be excited w/ T Jones production as it proves that Denise was wrong and it’ll be huge down the stretch. I wonder if he’ll actually sit the Barberian this week in favor of Fatty. Cliff is sweating it out as he sees his team go down horribly. Maybe his luck has finally run out after his big trade w/ Sho. He’ll be asking the injury gods to get S Jax and Bush back like 2 minutes ago. I can see why he felt the need to get a RB. Ironically, McFadden may have been the RB he needed but also traded away. That must be painful for Cliffy. Outside of Favre, Shockey, and Boldin, everyone else performed horribly. It showed in the score and Cliff could miss the playoffs if he continues to lose and put up such horrible scores.

I’m glad that I’m not in the Big 12 division versus at least my team showed up.

Kras gets the win w/ another great game from Cassel. I was wrong about the QB who last started a game in high school. He’ll be a very rich man next year so he’ll be laughing all the way to the bank. If he’s smart, he’ll go wherever NE assistant Josh McDaniels goes. I’m hoping that it will be in a 49er jersey. If Ford is smart, the Lions will open up the piggy bank and get them both and higher Patriot Scott Pioli as GM. I’m thinking that the Lions take either Texan Orakpo or take one of the stud tackles; Oher or Smith. If McDaniels can continue his offensive guru tag, then it’ll be fun in Detroit. I’m sure that VDW would agree whole heartedly. Kras’s other big pick up as Dennis’s drop in the Ravens defense who has continued to produce for Kras. Kras was also able to pick up Dunn who joined the destroy the Lions bandwagon. I think Marinelli can get a job next year and I’d like to see what he could do w/ the Vikings as a defensive coordinator. It goes to show you that while you can have horrible picks in the draft, you can be horrible enough to have first dibs on the waiver wire each week and put yourself in the hunt for at least a high score each week. Dennis is limping his way down the stretch. At least his closest competition in the division is 2 games behind him with 2 games left and about 50 points ahead. Where have you gone Witten? Braylon Edwards is also horrible and needs less 5 hour energy crap if that's what's making him drop balls like Vish drops saliva when he speaks to a girl. Have you ever seen those commercials? Osi was on it and he was hurt for the year. Braylon was on it and he's been so inconsistent that you'd rather he be gone for the year.

Just don't let Texas in...

So as we get into the stretch run of the college football season, the Gators, Sooners and Tide have their respective destinies in their own hands. At least that’s what everyone is saying. I’m saying that things aren’t too bad if the Wolverines have their first losing season in 40 years and the most losses ever. It’s not that I hate Ann Arbor; I just think that they got what they deserved for having to be #1, for having to beat the Buckeyes. I also think it’s good whenever the Irish lose b/c of having them stuffed down my throat for so many years on T.V. and having to listen to Holtz go on and on and on. I call it the “too much Braves on TBS” phenomenon. Cal sucks but at least they’re better than Stanfurd which means it’s been a good year to be a Bear. LSU lost which they should have against Troy. Sorry VDW, I thought that you’d have a chance at Roses if you beat the Penn State. It didn’t matter though. For the record, I honestly believe you have a better team than Cal. You just didn’t win. I’ll take the Spartans and the points next year.
On the plus side for Ann Arbor, they had a great win against UCLA. It's still too early for the Men's game but you have to give credit when it's due. I don't understand Loyola's logic in double teaming Stephon Curry whenever he was on the floor. He later asked how often you hold a future NBA star to zero points. I thought that you play to win the game. Somewhere out there, Herm Edwards is wondering why he didn't trademark that phrase.

The Vish Wars.

It was a battle of sadness aka the vish wars. Unfortunately, it wasn't much of a contest as Vish 1 showed his might as the true and original vish. There are many contenders for the title of world's saddest Indian doctor: vish, vash, vip... But when it comes to the bottom line, there is only 1 true Vish. All kidding aside, Vish actually has a strong team, especially behind his running back tandem in Deangleo and Turner. They've been so good that he even made an interesting trade offer to Denise: Roethlisberger, Randy, Mewelde and FWP for Kurt Warner. Denise didn't bite and Vish might be better off if Tyler Pigpen continues to impress. He has the 2nd highest point total and has secured the high score 3 times this year. Unfortunately, he's 2 games behind Ben and has to leapfrog Soumya. One more loss and I think he's done for the playoffs. Vash continues his season of dispair and disappointment aka "stupid" McGahee. I'd love to see Vash's face as McGahee continues his weekly taunts of Vash's heart. I suck when you start me and I do well when you sit me. Either way, you lose. Ha, ha, ha. At least LDT did something. It's not like it matters anymore for Vash. He's been done and done for awhile now. He'll probably pick up Hillis or Willis or whoever the 5th Broncos RB is. He might get lucky w/ a high score but he's still done and looking to next year. Here's a draft tip for next year: get running backs well under 30. Next year, I predict that Portis has had too much wear and tear and he'll be the let down back. I don't have much to show for this match up except that it's really a Lenny versus Squiggy show. Happy early holidays!!!

Boring....

There isn't much to say about this past weekend's college games. Everyone who was supposed to win did. Spurrier got owned by the Gators much like the boy in the video was owned. LSU made a major comeback against Troy to make the Buckeyes feel good about their earlier encounter. I am glad to see the Wolverines suffer, probably not as much as Kras and VDW. In a battle of sadness, the Baylor Bears were able to "upset" the Aggies. I don't know how much of an upset this is since it's essentially a battle of Lenny versus Squiggy. Either way the winner isn't much to brag about. Cliffy should be happy though his Rockets did lose to Ash's depleted Spurs.
At least Men's basketball has started. As a Warriors fan, it's time for me to start looking at which players will be in the lotto. The obvious candidate for Warriors savior is Blake Griffin. I'm actually more interested in Georgetown's Greg Monroe. Instead they'll get Austin Daye. This is the part where VDW gets all excited and start saying stuff about Suton and speed and a confident Morgan and a healed knee. Josh chimes in about who the champion is and how that was the most awesome finals game...ever. Then Sho says something about back to back and Calathes. As always, go Bears and thanks Pete Newell. And for your information Vish, I don't wear lifts.

We Shall Overcome.

Image via WikipediaTo those who would tear my sports world down: we will defeat you.
To those who seek the Buckeyes in the BCS championship each year: we support you.
And to those who have wondered if Kras’s beacon still burns as bright: tonight we proved once more that the true strength of TBDBITL comes not from the might of our draft picks or the countless times that we have first dibs on waiver wire pick ups, but from the enduring power of our ideals—sheer luck, Sidney’s ignorance over daddy’s horrible decisions, going up against the true Vish and unyielding hope.
You go Kras!!! I hope that your win inspires the league to keep fighting b/c you never know what will happen, in sports or in real life. You were actually in it for the high score of the week too until VDW really went off and Boldin showed his love for Cliff. The bottom line is that you won and you did it against Vish which is even sweeter. We're all happy for you Kras. Hopefully Brady continues to go w/ the quick stuff to Winslow and you'll have a puncher's chance each week. Vish goes down to Kras but not without a fight. Tyler Thigpen? Impressive. You also get props in starting Deangelo over the Burner. Vish may have a sub 0.500 team but he's got the 3rd most points. The lesson for this week is that sometimes it's more about who you play.

A Shot to Soumya's Sack

So Sho loses to Krothua and he can blame Big Ben's turnovers for the loss. The Steelers deserve the loss for such foolish interceptions. You can try to blame a bum shoulder but a QB's biggest deal is his decision making. It's why Jeff George was such a bust. At least going for the 2 point conversation instead of the extra point didn't cause the loss. It was the right thing to do from a football standpoint so Soumya really couldn't argue with the decision either way. I'm still amazed at how he knew to start Brady Quinn. Soumya's capable of such madness but even his "visions" couldn't see both Chester Taylor and AD going off. He should have seen Slaton's failure against the Ravens b/c no one runs against the Ravens. I wonder if All Day will just keep getting the rock from now on. You should have seen him go 1 man gang on the Packers defense. You knew it was coming, they knew it was coming and they still couldn't stop him. Koshua gets the win thanks to the Lambs looking utterly horrible against the Jets running game. If you were told that Bretts would have 40 points in the 1st half, you'd think that he would have gone nuts via the air. Instead Thomas the train did almost all the work himself. It's a good thing for Josh too b/c he needed all of his points to beat Sho. I wonder if losing by such a small margin is like taking one to the sack. Creativity points.


Awful Nutshot Prank With Shovel - Watch more Free Videos

Dumb versus Dumberer

It was truly a painful contest to see Denise go up against T squared. After seeing so many teams do well, it was disheartening to know that someone would win this sad sack match up. I wonder if carpooling w/ a bunch of annoying super villains is more painful. (see below) Anyways, Denise can credit Kurt Warner for the win as well as his season. Having a steady QB can make up for a lack of consistency at other positions due to to their ability to put up a bunch of points. After him, the only real production from his team came from his kicker. Everyone else was subpar. He could have blamed the turnovers in the Eagles/Giants that ultimately hurt his Giants defense or Big Ben's turnovers which led to Peyton's scores. He won and that's the bottom line. The credit should really go to Tim for starting the Browns defense instead of the Jets. You can ask him what line of thinking went into that decision. Denise isn't complaining though Shen could probably make a comment or two.

I h8 U All...luv Vash

Vash is upset over many things these days. First and foremost will be the Spurs lack of health. I predict that Timmy D will be overloaded b/c no one can play and he'll be too taxed for the playoffs if they make it there. Next Ashish can point to LDT/Gates dismal seasons. He can then point to the jackals who have been telling him from the preseason that LDT wasn't going to be LDT anymore. Next he can look at his horrendous wide receivers. Outside of dukes o' lightening, he has had absolutely no one. His core is only surpassed by Denise's inconsistent bunch. Ultimately, it's all on Vash though b/c he drafted his team and he was under the belief that Jamal Charles could do something against the San Diego run defense. He could have picked almost anyone else on his bench and he would have outproduced Charles and get Vash the win. In fact, he could have picked almost any other receiver to start instead of the previously mentioned Smith or incredibly old Holt and he could have got the win. It's called karma for the sneaky waiver wire pick up and being a Spurs fan. Shen gets the win in large part due to his Browns ineptitude. At least the 49ers lost b/c they couldn't punch it in on the 1. There's locker room talk of quitting on the Browns team. The story continues w/ it's who you play being more important than your actual score. Shen would have lost to many other teams but he beat the only team that he needed to...the one he played. More importantly, he's hoping that the Broncos have found their early season form again. He's also within a game of Big E but is really 2 games behind due to losing the tie breaker. The battle was a close one though where both parties looked like clowns. I'm saying this b/c I'm mean and so I can show you a similar struggle.

It's Cliffy's World and We're All Just Living In It

So Cliff is trying to do a Shen where you complain about something but in reality, your complaints are false. Frerotte didn't do much except hand the ball off to AD, but Ganga man and the Burner's backup did a lot more than Cliff's expectations. No complaints from him. Maybe we should have Cliff pick out lottery numbers for his next trick. I wonder how much he'll complain when he has his "starters" available next week. How lucky is Cliff? Check out Reggie Wayne's stats against the Steelers. His 65 yard TD was off a tip drill where the corner showed why he's a corner and not a receiver and he had another 20 yard catch off another tip drill. His only "letdown" was Shockey and I'm guessing that Cliff will pick random TE/Spaeth and he'll do well next week. We can go more obscure and pick Royal from the Bills and see what happens. Ben loses again but at least he's in the right division where everyone lost this week. His team actually did well but once again, it's about who you play too. I wonder if Ben is wondering where his receivers have gone. Fitz still produces but Jennings has come back to Earth and Plax has actually been benched. Then his replacement separated his shoulder. If I were Ben, I'd be more worried about my non Brandon Jacobs RB. I guess he'll start Kevin Smith who I think has been living off Clerks a little too long now. He also needs to stop the in between meal snacks and in between snacks snacks. It will be tough for him regardless of his dieting b/c he's going against Car, Tampa and Tenn next. For the record, I liked Jedi better. Golden Bikini, dummies!

Carolina Braggin Rights

VDW gets the high score of the week and the rights to North Carolina with it. I'm guessing that Big E was glad that he'd be going up against VDW sans his top two picks. Unfortunately for Towns, the planets aligned for VDW's players and the perfect storm was created. No one went insane in the membrane but everyone joined in on the beat Towns party. VDW finally has a QB and it was someone from the waiver wire. I'll also say that he'll be a top 10 QB for next year if he just stays the course. He's been very impressive as a rookie and is a favorite for "next" on the espn site/magazine. VDW also has a TE in Boss now. His wide receivers aren't too consistent and the Panthers have already played the Raiders but the rest of his team should give some regular production. VDW may not be as out of the playoffs race as he thinks. He has to run the table and needs some help, but he's within sight. It starts next week in the battle for insulin. Big E falls another game behind Cliffy but more importantly, he falls back and joins the tight race for the 4th playoff spot. His wide receivers finally failed him and it cost him this week. His team/3 players actually did well but it's also about who you play. He's actually the opposite of VDW who has a whole team producing but no one going coo coo for coco puffs. I wonder if he'll sit MoJo this week as he's set to go up against the Titans defense. I'm sure that he's hoping that T squared continues to go w/ the Browns defense in either case. If it will may Towns feel better, he can have a Mentos w/ Jean Claude.

The Lions go down.

I don't know who's happier after Saturday's games; Sho or VDW or Bridget. Penn State's loss means no Big 10 disappointing performance. Thank goodness. VDW and his Sparties control their own fate for the Rose Bowl now if my math is right. Sho's Gators now control their own fate too b/c if they win out, they'll be BCS dancing. Alabama could have easily lost to the Tigers who were destryoed by the Gators. The Red Raiders were still strong and didn't care if someone was a 40, 41, 42, or 50 billion years old. I hope that they beat Oklahoma to prevent any kind of 3 way tie that lets Texas back into national championship scene. I can't think of a joke about a state of balls but please feel free to email some to me. Good for them though. USC's defense was too good for Cal but it wasn't a surprise. I'm sure that the men of Troy are unhappy w/ their lack of love but w/ a bad conference, what can you really say? I guess that they'd need some sort of super combo of 2 win losses by a handful of teams in order to get to the championship. Not!
So I play fantasy basketball as some of you know. I just wanted to vent out my frustrations of having 2 players get injured in the middle of the week's games which cost me a 1 win. And then have the same thing happen in week 2. Aaaaarrrghhhhh!!!!
It's as painful as a dart in your ass. The wailing makes me laugh.

Slant Hopes Information and Thoughts

So there were a lot of exciting and sad games in the NFL this weekend. We'll start off at the top w/ our #1 and 2 ranked teams. At least our decisions are based on the field instead of a computer. Denise avenges his fantasy b-ball loss by taking down the previous top (big red) dog in Cliff. Denise is upset that his fantasy b-ball team lost due to early injuries in Tyson Chandler and B Diddy. At least he should be happy that he has the tie breakers against Cliffy, Bleemia, Big E, and Shen. Denise weathered his first injury to a top contributor in Witten w/o it costing him. Denise is actually ecstatic over having Tim Hightower on his bench. He thought that Stewart would have been his big rookie runner but now it looks to be Hightower. Bye bye Edge! Cliffy gets the "L" I'm sure that Cliff is wondering how long S Jax will be ineffective and if teams have figured out how to double team "Rodney" White. My favorite is still Dangerfield. If you're on the outside looking into the playoffs, you'd probably be jealous of Cliff. Cliff points out that his team isn't that great due to no weekly prizes for his team. It's an ok team that is pretty consistent and will get you 80 points a week, but that's it. I'm sure that Kras has something to say about having a bad team.

TAINT versus Just End it Please

The game of the week goes to the previously mentioned Kras as his team lost to the Krotchuas by a mere point. A mere point is the equivalent of 1 yard in fantasy land. How crazy is that? You've had a horrible season beyond all recognition. You lose by 100 points 1 week and you're
the poor soul who's on the wrong end of a T squared high score of the week. This is the same team that had all of 1 win prior to his match w/ Kras last week. Krotchua gets the win but it was a lot closer than most people's prediction. For example, if Kras could have had almost any RB other than the previously mentioned Edge, he would have had the win. If any of his players could have fallen 2 yards further, he would have had the win. I don't even know if Kras reads my crap anymore but which is the greater poison: to get your asssshhh handed to you each week or to lose by a Towns or VDW body length? Speaking of bodies, Krotchua deserves credit for a new term. I don't know if he actually made it up but we'll give him credit for it. Instead of a "pick 6,"
Koshua wants to call an interception returned for a TD a TAINT. It stands for Touchdown After INTerception. I guess you could also apply it to a Touchback after INT too. He dreams of a world where Stuart Scott will use his term on ESPN or where hordes of drunken football fans will be screaming out, "taint" in bars and homes throughout America. I suggest that he try Bill Simmons or TMR. If you don't get what I just said, you probably never did. Googling the term now doesn't count Vishals. That's cheating. FYI, I would drop Fargas. All things Raiders that aren't Red are poison for now. The Oaktown version had all of 3 first downs for the whole game. They're redefining ineptitude on a weekly basis. It's really bad and I hope Crabtree doesn't start out in Silver and Black.

Have I Finally Found a QB versus Where Have My WRs gone?

So VDW may have found a QB. It may be too little too late, but I think that it proves my point that getting a high profile QB w/ a top pick is too risky. I'm not saying that you can find a free agent QB, let alone a rookie one, to lead your team. I'm saying that Warner, Eli, Cutler, Garrard, Rivers, Rodgers, and McNabb were all early mid round to mid round picks. If I was VDW, I'd be more worried over the lack of production from my WR's, though I think TO will get a pass until Romo returns. Ben goes down and his wide receivers can get the blame. He still has the best trifecta going on but Plax has had only 1 double digit game in the last 6 Giants game. Could Ben be contemplating starting Mason for him? I doubt it b/c Plax and Eli have too much potential for a great game each week. Ben should be more concerned w/ his other non Brandon Jacobs RB where he has injuries and question marks to contend with. If Rex is playing, I predict that the Bears defense will also be less productive. TAINT. Are you happy Koshua?

Hey hey we're the Monkeys versus (think of My Sharona song) My Bir-on-as

T squared makes it 3 in a row as he takes out the #1 pick in the land. To be fair, LDT was on a bye week. To be fair, Vish hasn't done well in fantasy sports in quite awhile. Ha! Peyton is slowly starting to shape into form and that will be key for Tim down the stretch. A healthy Westbrook will produce on a consistent basis and have his super duper days too. His MVP has been Rod Bironas though. Check out that production. If Tim can find some consistent production somewhere else, he'll be tough down the stretch. Grandmama likes to take on women but not in a hot mud wrestling kind of way like in Stripes but in a I have issues w/ women kind of way. I don't think LJ will be giving you much down the stretch Tim. My favorite chef has always been Swedish, fyi. Vish continues to flounder along as chooses the wrong QB and forgets to check out the injury report before gametime and misses on the McGahee injury. At least he has LDT ,Gates, and Fists of Fury for the rest of the season. If LDT can perform to his LDT standards, then Vish has a chance.

I had the best weekend versus shut up and don't say anything to Bridget.

As I've already said, Sho had a great weekend. His team continued the pattern w/ the beat down of the Shenanigans. He once again beat Denise for the cash prize w/ his high score of the week. Sho had both sides of the Monday night game so he was going to do well either way. Unfortunately, his Skins came out w/ a resounding loss in part due to Byron Leftwich. I guess the Steelers love the MAC attack. Shen's once mighty juggernaut looks to be sputtering as the Broncos have of late. I wonder if it has anything to do w/ only 12 running plays for the whole game. Even I call more running plays when I'm playing Madden. As Shen's pointed out, he's starting to slip further behind the projected playoff teams. Maybe Denise will call off his bounty now. Not!!! I sweep the leg.

Where did my Mosses go versus I told you my WR's were money

Pack continues to impress w/ his less than heralded receiving core. He's also found another decent WR in Rashied Davis. At least he was decent until Orton got hurt. I wonder if even Sho can say something positive about Rex. I can't think of anything good to say about the Wonder Dog but saying wonder dog makes me think of old school cartoon Underdog. Anyways, Big E looked susceptible w/ Brees finally on a bye week but he didn't even need his QB production this week due to Vish's horrible production. Vish had a horrible week with 5 positions putting up a TOTAL of 11 points. It was Krasnian. Vish suffers further pain as his home team Texans lose Schaub once again. Sage will be an instant pick up. I'm sure Vish is hoping that no one will care enough to take him before his spot. If you're reading this before you vote, make sure that you remember about the one true underdog in the election.

Let's Go Raiders

Image by Getty Images via DaylifeWow!!! I sure hope that all of you were able to see the Longhorns/Red Raiders game on Saturday night b/c it was great. There were emotions going back and forth as the Longhorns looked horrible in the 1st half but actually shut the Lubbocks down for the majority of the 2nd half. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. You have to have stones to go for the TD w/ seconds left and a game tying field goal staring at you in the face. You get rewarded w/ a lot of "big time" jobs aka Aggies, Huskies, and maybe Vols Mr Leach. Mr Crabtree, you get your choice of women in Lubbock and something like $40 million dollars next year. I think the walk on/contest winner Red Raider kicker was among the happiest Saturday night. I texted Shen b/c I worried for his safety w/ a potential blonde ball of burnt orange anger in his vicinity. He said that it was very quiet. I'm sure it was a lot louder in Lubbock. I wonder if it's still standing now.
Sho to the mizzo is a happy man for multiple reasons as his Gators trounced the Bulldogs as expected. He also took first place at Ben's Bday Poker Party. The game was actually close until the early parts of the 2nd half. They now stand as the most impressive team in the land w/ the Longhorn loss. Unfortunately, the Swampthings still have 1 loss and 3 undefeated teams ahead of them. At least they're in sniffing distance of BCS love. The Baylors almost pulled off a huge upset but came up short once again. Sorry Cliff. I'm sure that T squared is happy as his Techs were going to get the win and then were going to get the loss but got older Bowden to cough up the ball in the end zone when it looked like the Noles were going to get the comeback win. Super run on sentences. And last but certainly not least, VDW is a happy man as the Spartys were able to get the solid win against the big rodents of Wisconsin. It's up to you to make sure that Joe Pa doesn't get an undeserved championship shot.
So there will be a lot of talk about jumping over a bunch of teams to get a #2 ranking. I guess it's good for conversation and to generate interest in college football. It doesn't matter for now though b/c if the Red Raiders can't finish undefeated w/ games against the Sooners and Cowboys left, then it doesn't matter. Alabama stays #1 but no one believes that they'll beat the Gators in an SEC showdown later on. The Big 10 is overrated and the beatings of the Buckeyes have proven this. I hope that VDW's Spartans can make sure that the Lions don't get in the conversation.

The Amateur Ranks

We also have the world's biggest tea party or cocktail party or whatever party as the Gators take on the Dawgs. The winner still has a strong chance of getting BCS love if the less than inspiring Tide falls at some time this year. We also have the Red Raiders trying to go video game on the Horns. Go Crabtree! If Martz stays, he'll the 49ers pick. The games should be exciting. I'll be asleep since I work the overnight shift on Friday. The annoying questions will start to come if Joe Pa goes undefeated and there are multiple 1 loss teams left in the land. At least they didn't make Maxim's worst college football teams.Hello Stanfurd and Baylor.

Image via WikipediaIt's too late to really talk about last weekend's games but I need to make some comments. Go T squared for the weekly prize. I hope that it inspires the rest of the league to keep trying. It came at the expense of poor Kras. Is there a way that we could have Kras go against the global economy? Vish beat Denise again. I believe that this is the 3rd year in a row that he's made Denise eat it. Go Vish. Treat him the way Mahony did you. Mini-Vish also got a win in a tribute to his Dad. I'm sure that he's hoping that LDT has finally come back. I believe that the Chargers defense has actually been the biggest culprit to that team's demise. It cost their co-ordinator his job and Vish reacted appropriately. Shen has fallen out of the playoff race for now as the Pack have taken his spot. We have some interesting and possibly important games this weekend. In a Clash of the Titans, we have the Big Red Dog going against the Short Brown Mouth. Wouldn't it be cool if they tried to remake that movie? Better graphics and hotter chicks, I say. Krotchua might even get a win this week against the hapless TBDTITLDTLLTDDDTTTTDL.

So I'm truly frustrated and unsatisfied w/ my inability to post videos longer than 10 minutes. Obviously, I've tried to keep things fun and informative for all of you clowns. Here is the newest version of the Slant, Hopes, Information, and Thoughts. First of all, congrats to Bleemia and his Phillies for winning it all. It was somewhat anti-climactic due to 2 days of a rain delay but his team won and he made money. I don't know if this was really a video of a Rays fan. It wouldn't surprise me if it was given Philadelphia's somewhat hostile fans. Happy B day Ben ! You get a championship, make money off of it, play poker and get an extra hour of time to celebrate. Winner, winner...philly cheesesteak dinner. Go Pat's.