MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

Booooo Kouche!!! This would have been an incredible story for the not ready for basketball (1-7 record) Chens. The Bubbas get the division by 2 fantasy points. It's the equivalent of 1 turnover or 20 total rushing/receiving yards!!! It's as small as getting 2 less yards receiving/rushing PER game. It's as small as a tipped ball going into the wrong hands to keep a drive going. It's as small as getting 1 bad call by a ref to keep a drive going. It's as small as a few extra inches by an overly generous ref as he spots the ball. How do you live w/ this Cliff? I would be going at Kouche w/ a butcher knife. I wish I were lucky enough to be part of something like this. I'd be going nutz in the background so I could be famous on youtube.

Sorry Vishnal, it wasn't meant to be. Once again, you're on the outside looking in. Does it bring back memories of your childhood? Picture a young Vish standing in the rain outside of a classmate's party. He's looking through the window as all the kids play pin the tail on the donkey. He wonders why he never got an invite. He sees the face on the donkey. He realizes why he never got an invite, they put his face over the donkey's. You can't see his tears for all the rain hitting his face. Sorry Vish. Here's a video for the Guitar Hero fans...Cliffy.

As I look back at our regular season, I'll say that I was the least deserving of all the playoff teams. My point total was certainly less than stellar and I faced the lowest point total. But at least I'm still in it to win and you never know when it comes to the fantasy playoffs. I'll be facing the #1 seed in Shen. I'll be hoping for the Saints to make Romo turnover happy and for Brady to find someone other than Welker.
Sho will be taking on the league's resident spoil sport. Josh will be in a tough spot as he wonders if/when the Wayne/Addai will get rest. I don't think that the Vikings will start to rest Favre and Percy w/ the Packers 2 games behind them. Sho will also have the most explosive player in the game on his side too. I think that they'll be trying to get him 2000 yards while they can too. I'll be rooting for Sho b/c Josh is the bad guy in this story. Here's a video for the futbol fans out there. I know all of 1 player here too.

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

The cynics will say that the SEC championship game was the real BCS championship. After watching the games, I'd have to agree w/ them. The Tide looked quite impressive as they/Ingram went through and around the Gators. I'm sorry Sho but the Tide looked a class above your Gators. McElroy didn't look like the next coming of Drew Brees but he made all the throws that he needed to. He moved the chains and his running backs drove the stake into the hearts of Tebow nation. You could make the argument that Carlos Dunlap would have applied the needed amount of pressure on McElroy to keep the game closer or at least get the ball back to Tebow. But if you're too stupid to stay out of trouble aka don't get a DUI the week before a championship game, then you don't deserve the shot at glory. Alabama does. With the exception of Julio Jones, it seemed like all the players kicked much assssssshhh. McClain will be a top 10 pick in the draft and Mt McCoy will be in a 3,4 defense coming to a town near you soon. Ingram will be playing at the next level too w/ a potential Heisman in tow.
Sorry Shen. It should definitely not go to a QB this year and Toby had a devastating year but in a less than impressive conference. There's too much parity and not enough quality wins. More importantly, USC had a very bad year so voters will think that any quality RB could have had Toby's year. Ingram had the spotlight and kept it on himself right before the votes were due. For the whole year, Spiller has been a human highlight reel. He's scored over and over again in multiple ways including the ACC championship game. It was the most entertaining game from Saturday night. Too bad only Tim and I watched it. Congrats again T squared. Your offense was able to outlast Spiller. Have fun at the Naranja Bowl.

The big 12 championship game was exciting for about the last 3 minutes of the game. Pellini's offense was putrid. It has been all year. The Huskers best chances were w/ the defense and superbeast Suh on the field. They had the ball on the Longhorns 1 w/ 4 downs to get it in the end zone. They went backwards. You got the feeling that the Huskers had a better chanch of scoring a TD if they gave the ball back to the Colt at the 1 and let their defense try to get a TD. Suh was amazing and that defense wrecked any chanches of Colt's Heisman and almost his chances at a championship. Colt was almost a dolt has he lost track of how much time was left in the game. He rolled out and threw an incompletion way out of bounds and left 1 second on the game clock. If he takes one more step or throws the ball an extra yard deeper or wider, then B goes off the deep end and starts screaming about how stupid he is and asking where Applewhite is. The bottom line is that Texas escaped. Now they better hope to get an overconfident Tide team or else they're toast. If I can get it at 11, I'll put $ on the Tide. Of course the last time a Longhorn team made it to the BCS championship and looked like a heavy underdog, Vince stole B's heart. Kras will say that we should also remember how Maurice beat the Canes too. Oh yeah, go Temple. Sorry Ben, I didn't want to risk any kind of jinx on them throughout the season. It's too weird for me to say that the Temple Owls have a good football team. Congress needs to spend more time on fixing other things but if they only spend their lunch hour to screw the BCS, I love it. You can't say "national" championship unless a playoff system is used. And some late breaking news...Agent zero baby mama cheatin w/ the Shaqtus.

As you're thinking up of Xmas gifts, remember that the Hangover comes out next week on DVD. It's a great, great guy movie. Someone calculated the cost of the weekend adventure in Vegas and it came out to something like $50K. I will be having my bachelor party there (date yet to be determined of party and wedding) so start saving your pennies. I also highly recommend Kung Fu Hustle ax kicking edition. It's Hong Kong high wire kung fu action w/ slap stick comedy always brings a smile to my face. Like this does...

Week 2 s/p tonsillectomy is still a beeatch. I sweat when I eat certain foods, including ice cream. WTF?? I miss my gellato.

I'll put another plug in for the NFL Redzone. I was able to watch a lot of the 4th quarter of the Raiders//Steelers game and there were a few lead changes down the stretch. Ultimately, the Raiders prevailed. I'm not a Raiders fan even though I'm from the bay area but I hate seeing teams suck so hard and so long that they become a joke. I'm probably not as happy as the crypt keeper owner but I was glad to see sparks of life from Oaktown's Silver and Black. I was also able to see the Redskins almost but only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades game against the Saints. I told Sho that he should be proud of them. Ever since they went to a bingo inspired offense, they have looked very respectable. The Saints don't do well in the cold so I was expecting a close game. I didn't expect them to actually win it w/o some fluke plays though. Unfortunately, the fluke play was a botched chip shot field goal. Today Mr. Suisham is Zorn's public enemy #1 and unemployed. The Patriots look ripe for the picking too. They can't stop anyone on defense. I wouldn't be surprised if they went "all in" come draft day and try to get a top flight defensive player. For example, someone who can steal the ball from someone who's tying their shoes.

I think that this has been our most competitive fantasy league in perhaps ever. We are down to the last week of our regular season and 9 teams still have a "theoretical" shot to get in. Instead of doing a game by game breakdown which will only depress me, I'll go through what each team is rooting for. I am sure that I am missing something here or there so I'll blame it on the oxycodone. I really miss drinking right now too though I would go to this bar just for the show.

Shen: Just make sure that you don't score -200 and you have the division.
Me: I want Josh to lose out of spite & b/c of our side bet. I want Vish to lose so I can laugh at him. I want Big E to win so I won't seem to negative too.
Kras: Can't win division. Only has tie breaker against Vish and Ash. His best hope is for a cluster F at 8-6 w/ him outscoring the lot.
Josh: He just really needs to win or see Ash lose. If the opposite happens, Josh needs a lot of people to lose. He only has the tie breaker against me. Ben and Vish all have the tie breakers against him.
Ash: He doesn't control his own fate. He needs to win and Josh to lose for the division. If both of them win, he needs VDW to start a kicker for the wild card. If he loses, he has tie breakers against Ben but not to Vish and myself.
Cliff: Dark, dark horse. I also think that he needs to change the name of his fantasy fball team b/c his fantasy bball team is 1-5 and will soon be 1-6. He can actually win the division if Josh and Ash lose and Cliff outscores them both. Not impossible w/ Brees. Owns tie breakers against Ben, Kras, and Sho.
Sho: can only lose division if he scores -80 points to Ben. He owns Vish like Vish owns his own right hand.
Ben: Needs to win and get some help. Owns tie breaker against Josh and Kras. Lost tie breaker against Cliff, Ash, and me.
Vish: Needs to win and get some help. Owns tie breaker against Josh, Ash, Cliff and me. Doesn't have tie breaker against Kras.

So w/ 1 week left in the season, Shen and Sho are in and Tim, VDW and Big E are out. Great year.

MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS...S/P TONSILLECTOMY EDITION

I apologize about the very truncated edition of this week's newsletter. Despite the rumors on the internet, I was not involved in a car accident in the very early morning after Thanksgiving. I had my tonsils taken out on Monday. Les was there but in no way was she swinging a golf club at me. Here's the famed Chinese interpretation of Tiger's Black Friday.

Goodbye Bobby B (not crackhead former New Edition version.) It was a great run prior to the last 7 years or but no one lasts forever. You lasted the last 5 years because of your previous impressive run. Joe Pa will have his turn. If Coach K doesn't start putting Duke in the elite 8 again, the rumblings will start for him in a handful of years. The pressure will be on w/ Roy Williams success down the road. I wonder if clowns like this make it easier for Bowden to leave.

Weis is gone. I don't know how anyone in the NFL can give him a head coaching job after his poor run over the last few years. I think he'll be the highest paid offensive coordinator though. You'd need a very secure head coach though. Shen, I still don't know how you lost to us. No offense B, but McCoy gets the Heisman b/c of the position he plays and national coverage but the RBs have been more impressive for the year. I don't know who'll get the Notre Dame gig. I'm hopeful that it isn't an NFL washout. I would have really loved it if TCU coach Patterson got the gig. After Meyer wins another championship, I can see the Irish knocking on his door w/ a ton of the Pope's $ behind them.

I can't go through each game but here are my thoughts.
I'm sorry VDW. I was doing my best in my guidance in the hopes that you would be Shen. If it makes you feel any better, here was my drafted team: Gore, Brady, Colston, D-Jax, Rice, Royal, LaShady, Leon Washington, Hightower, Flacco, Celek, Shiancoe, Carney, Green Bay, and Meachem. Outside of the Royal and Washington, everyone has done quite well but I couldn't leave well enough alone. I have to tinker w/ my team out of boredom. My point is even though you're cursed, you aren't your own worst enemy.
After starting off so strong, the BigPac division now looks to be the weakest w/ the anemic scores. I am in "first" place but only by sheer luck and timing.
I can't see how Kras, Vish, and Cliff can win their divisions anymore. But I think they can still win a wild card spot. Shen and I play for the division crown this week. Things don't look good for me w/ D-Jax out. My only hopeis that it's a Brady/Moss luvfest. No soup for Welker. If Ash beats Josh, he gets the division crown. Sho and Ben are tied and don't play each other till the last game of our regular season. FYI, I gave Vish a double or nothing shot on his Texans against the Colts w/ Freeney out. Vish showed the proper lack of faith as his Texcants crumbled in the 2nd half. As much as I have bashed VY, I was elated for him and really hope that he's figured out how to be an NFL QB. It was a great comeback against the Cards.
VDW, I'm sorry that the Spartans went down to the Tarheels. I thought that it was important that they didn't get blown out w/ Roe fouling out. Hopefully, a neutral court and more seasoning will bring better results in the spring.
Am I surprised that Ron Ron drank at half time when he was a Chicago Bull? Yes. Am I really that surprised about anything that he says or does? No. Do I think that he could end up a tragedy and his actions and confessions could later be seen as signs of his impending doom? Sadly, yes.
Oh yeah, Mrs. Keaton is a vageterian.