MY SLANT HOPES INFORMATION THOUGHTS

There was really nothing to say about this past weekend's college action. I do have to give Ash's Aggies credit though for somehow beating the Red Raiders. I'm wondering if it was due to the Aggie pre game chanting ritual. I can easily see Ash doing this btw.

Aggie Yell Leader Casey Schaffer from Double B on Vimeo.

The Men's rankings have come out and to no surprise, the Jayhawks took 1 and the Spartans were 2. For some reason, Cal was in the top 20. I predict a quick exit for my Bears. Oh wells. Sorry, there wasn't much video/pics to add this week. In lieu of it, here are some Halloween ideas.

1)For our asian brothers w/ the white significant other.
Jon and Kate. Get an Ed Hardy shirt and she gets the Kate wig.
2)From AOTS, balloon boy. Get a bunch of ballons and pin them to an old scrub w/ the word boy on it. Get a rice bowl wig and walk around and vomit every now and then.
3) For our ladies, get an outlandish pair of sunglasses and a blonde wig. Put something ridiculously stupid and outrageous on like aluminum foil and you're Lady Gaga.
4) Also from AOTS, get some 2 pairs of fake boobies. Cut 1 pair in half. Stuff them down a tight shirt. Put on a black wig. You're the 3 boobed chic from Total Recall.

YOU WILL FEEL DA PAIN versus THE FINAL TITLE FOR TIMMY D

Vish gets the W and takes the division lead. Don't look now but Vish is starting to have a scary team. He's so good that his bench could have beat some teams this week. He even has a 3 TE set that is the envy of anyone who doesn't have D Clark (not Desmond). Vish gets the added joy of having his Texans beat down on my 49ers. Slaton got his work in but lost the ball again. Eventually, that will cost you. We'll see how much Andre's injury will cost the Texans and Schaub. Hurry up and get Walter. At least Vish is going to have to give somebody up if he doesn't want to get rid of his suddenly devastating Patriots D. Ash suffers a loss for the first time in a month. While most people don't put much stock in defenses/special teams, our league's history says that it can be a huge difference and a key to making it into the playoffs. Speaking of injured receivers, we'll see how bad Berrian's injury is. At least Ash has a more than capable old ashhhh Derrick Mason.

I'M BUSY W/ MY I H8 NYC CHANTS versus I NEED MY RB'S AND QB'S TO GET THEIR SHIZZNIT TOGETHER.

Ben finally gets the win. He and team Lee aren't focused on that though. I'm sure that Lauren is getting her first taste of New York sucks chants right now. I'm guessing something like boooo New York. Good luck Ben. I'm rooting for you but Hammels has to find his 08 version if you to beat the Yankees and Kate Hudson. I'm hoping that Ben's brother Albert isn't as insane as the girl in Philly offered something something for some World Series tix. Ben has been cursed w/ a different kind of QB pain this year than VDW. Even when Ben starts the bigger version of himself, he doesn't do well. McNabb has actually put up worse numbers than Kevin Kolb. I don't know what the deal is regarding his under and over throws. VDW has a different frustration as he really hasn't had much consistent, if any, help from the QB spot. He also has 1 RB in Ronnie B but he hasn't been able to find anyone else to give him any consistency. You'd think that he would have pulled off a trade given his receiver strength. You have to make a deal soon b/c the deadline is coming up and you have to make up some games in our division. This was written b4 his trade w/ Vish, btw.

WHY DIDN'T WITTEN GET ANY LOVE versus THANK YOU DREW BREES.

Cliff goes as Brees does. He should send him a thank you for any kind of success that he has each week. He actually has more than Brees. Especially w/ the Washington injury, T Jones gets a lot more love. Ryan Grant finally manned up after Ahman Green's signing and did something for Cliffy too. I doubt that you can count on Ricky having games like that. He's better served as a backup for byes or injuries. Obviously, Cliff has the most to worry about when it comes to Andre's injury. I guess if it's just a chest contusion, he can wear a flack jacket but I don't know how much it will help him for the next game, let alone how it will hurt him in the long run. Once again, where's Kevin Walter? Sho's ship is slowly sinking. I'm sure that he's hoping that the Lions bye week was enough to get Megatron healthy again. He also has to hope that Anquan isn't injured too badly as well. He can still beat me in a 20 yard dash but if you spotted me 15 yards, I'd have a chance. But Sho has the Saints defense who have been very opportunistic of late. If the Saints can keep scoring, opposing offenses will have to go pass happy in order to keep up.

I ONLY HURT MYSELF versus I'LL KINDLY TAKE LASEAN OFF YOUR HANDS, DENNIS.

So Leon got hurt after 1 play. He didn't just get hurt. It was an open fracture of his tib/fib. At least it wasn't a joint injury, so he'll be able to retain his speed and cut back ability. I like Leon and would love to have him in San Francisco. Pound them w/ Gore and make defenses have to catch Leon. I guess that it will only happen in Madden. Oh wells. I get the double pain of dropping LaShady as Westbrook does his yearly injury thing. I'm eating dinner and the TV is on but the volume is off. I'm talking w/ Leslie when I see a lack of action in the corner of my eye. I take a quick look and see that Westbrook is down and not getting back up. I almost spit my food out and go nutz but I use my poker face and don't miss a beat in my conversation w/ Les. Call me crazy, but I think it's important to sit down and have dinner at the table. It doesn't mean that I can't have the TV going on in the distance though. Thank goodness for my ADD abilities. T squared gets to feast off of my mistake. I don't know if he's going to be incredible or not but you have to think that Westbrook's history and age and LaSean's skills will mean more time for LaShady. I even texted Tim about it b/c he's less likely to keep making fun of my mistake than the rest of you clowns. Tim needs to make some moves if he wants to get into the divison race. In other words, trade Matty Ice soon for some help. I said this before on twitter but LaDanian is LaDone. He had 7 shots to get in either at the goal line or within the body length of Big E and he failed. The game was already decided against the poor Chefs and Norv wanted to get him a TD after the griping when Sproles got the goal line carry the week before. Nada. LDT has done too much to accept a lesser role than greatness but there's no shame in being a role player like Corey Dillon on a championship team.

I THOUGHT THAT DENNIS SAID I WAS UNSTOPPABLE versus DON'T LISTEN TO THE MIDGET

Josh gets the high score of the week thanks to double digit contributions from almost everyone. S Jax continues to be the best runner to not find the endzone. Addai doesn't run a lot but does enough w/ the addition of a TD to get into double digits as well. Rodgers destroyed the Browns but no where near as much as Owen Daniels did to my 49ers. Josh should be happy that I was foolish enough to bypass on Sidney Rice to go for Massoquiogonjin. I'm an idiot. Someone remind me that Rice gets 5th round value next year if Favre plays. More importantly, Josh is now in a tie for the division lead w/ Ash. Every little bit helps. Speaking of a little bit, apparently Braylon got into it w/ the short member of LeBron's crew. I believe that he's the guy in the video where a car is broken into and lebron does the old school kid n play ola ola aaa.... dance. Kras gets the loss despite large days from Cedric's revenge game and All Day. He even got Less Evans to produce. Owens who? He also got to reap the rewards of the Browns beatdown in the Packer D. Unfortunately for Kras, Warner didn't go off like Brees did against the G men. Kras still had a good week and would have beaten half the league but much like life, timing is everything.

AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET TO GO AGAINST THE HIGH SCORE versus THANK YOU LONDON FLETCHER.

Towns almost went 4 weeks straight against the high score. This week he went against the 2nd highest score but unfortunately, he wasn't the high score. Poor Towns. At least you aren't a Deadskin fan. It's become so bad that you aren't allowed to bring your own sign to Fedex stadium anymore. I didn't know that Dan Snyder was that sensitive. I guess that John Riggins' nickname of Linus (from Peanuts) was the straw that broke the camel's back. Speaking of broken backs, I wonder if this last loss is the one to break Big E's. He has all of 1 win but has the most points in the division. If it's any solace, you weren't that far away from the high score of the week. A few dropped passes that turn into catches can easily be the difference for you. Of course you could argue that after Manningham's miracle TD, you already had your fill of lucky tipped balls. At least you're in a tight race w/ Tim for All Day next year. So Shen was under the belief that he was going to lose this week. At first, it looked like our whole division would lose but as time went on I told him that he had a great shot on MNF. I didn't think that the great shot w/ be London Fletcher's knee to Westbrook's head but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Shen sits atop the division now and is playing Vish this week. Could this be a preview of the playoffs? I think so. If they do, you can easily say that Vish is responsible for half the teams in the playoffs. Good for you
Vish. Good for you.

My Slant Hopes Information Thoughts

I finally had a Saturday off to watch oodles and oodles of foozeball games. The Gators looked horrible. I'm sure that Sho can elaborate but I was unimpressed by both sides of the ball. I wanted to see the coward/chicken shiznit Petrino get slammed as I will for the foreseeable future, but the Gators weren't interested in playing Clobbersaurus Rex. Outside of Ingram, the Tide looked horrible offensively. But that team's greatness is based on it's defense and they delivered once again. The Gators can't have half as many turnovers against them or it will be game over. The only good looking thing about the Red River game was the women. And of course this one for Shen. (go to the 2 minute mark, I like how Shen knows to stay out of the camera's way.)

I get the idea of going for the national championship and look at what Donovan's kids did at Florida. I was stunned when he bypassed the draft and guaranteed $50 million to go to Detroit. If everyone and your mom and the Amazonian tribesmen who don't watch TV know that you're going to be a top 5 pick w/ all of that guaranteed money, you have to go. Texas was lucky enough to come back from behind again. Maybe this will be their motto for the rest of the season and go undefeated which means a title game against the Crimsongators. But if you lose 1 game and have a bunch of lackluster/needed to come back against a "lesser team" wins in an up and down big 12 conference, I keep thinking that everyone/computer would rather have a rematch of the SEC championship or a 1 loss USC team get in. I love the Colt is going to do great in the NFL clowns out there. Colt meet Applewhite's post college career. I hope you have some great suits and stories about being BMOC while at Austin. Congrats to T squared's triple option offense laying waste to Beamer's boys. I'd love to see them play my Cal bears. It would make for a great video game score. I'm not a Trojan fan except for the ribbed for her kind. But like the rest of the world w/o ties to North Bend, I always root against the Irish. I was going to go nuts if I had to hear a Holtz I told you so/all hail the Irish rant. Thankfully, the much lauded USC defense had enough to keep Clausen from getting his big Irish win. It's looking like he'll be the 1st pick to the Rams btw. Speaking of being highly lauded at one point in time, what has happened to Pryor? If you think that Snead has regressed, check out Pryor. I guess you'd have to have progressed at some point in time in order to regress. Kras, does he get how to play QB in college or is he just running around out there hoping that his supreme athletic ability will be enough each week? Any mental capacity? I'm not going to say anything about the undefeated teams b/c I don't want to be jinx a lot. Speaking of jinxing, sorry Towns. As soon as I say how great the Huskers were, they lay a huge egg at home to the Red Raiders. I can't say his first name Suh did look dominant though. I like to stare at potential players for the 49ers. I don't think the 49ers will be bottom 5 but I think the Panthers have a fighting chance. I still like the Suh's more than the Jayhawks who promptly popped Josh's dream much like a shoulder. I don't know why there are so many Spartan games here but I got to see them win and not mess themselves up enough to make the game closer than what it shoudl be, though the first half sure looked like it. With the exception of the Kansas game, I was able to see a good portion of all of the games that I mentioned. I love sports in HD. My butt is sore. Here's an unwanted yet impressive display of Cal's Jahvid Best from the game against UCLA. I wasn't fond/afraid of the Bush comparison.

I Just Needed a Little More Help versus I Just Need a Good QB and I Can Be Dangerous.

The game of the week came down to MNF. The undefeated Broncos got the win and possibly the AFC west w/ their defeat of the Chargers. More importantly for VDW, they kept T squared's trip of Rivers, LDT and Gates in check enough while B Marshall did just enough to make it two in a row for VDW. The Chargers are now 4 games behind in the win column w/ the Broncos holding a win over them. Norv has been able to get away w/ slow starts in the past for the Chargers but this could be his death knell. Can you imagine Shanahan getting the Chargers gig next season? Sho might want him to go D.C., but wouldn't you prefer Rivers, Sproles, Gates and S Jax to whatever garbage Snyder has in D.C.? Tim gets the loss but is in the best division to come back w/ everyone else at 0.500. You still have work to do but a trade for 1 of your QB's will help your cause. In fact the man you just beat might be a good partner. VDW gets the win. Surprisingly, a good chunk of his points came from Zach Miller of the Raiders who played the previously mighty Beagles. Zach broke a tackle or two and broke away for a whole lot of yards. VDW needs a QB and has the ammo in the form of Marshall, D Bowe, and Garcon to make a nice package. I would also try to get a decent RB at the same time if I were VDW. And I think that VDW should be given 1 point for talking to He Hate Me in his match up from Ben.

Maybe I Shouldn't Have Traded for Jacobs versus Go Phils!

Shen gets a disappointing game from Jacobs, but didn't need him. In fact, Shen only needed the massive games from MoJo and Wes Welker to beat Ben. MoJo's complaints to the coaching staff worked as he had 33 running plays. It probably doesn't hurt when you're playing the woeful Lambs. Welker was part of the humiliation in NE. Shen has been the lucky recipient of the TE's that I drafted but dropped way too early. This year it's been Celek and Schiancoe. Last year it was Owen Daniels. It will be the bane of my team for the rest of the season. Shen gets the win and is only 1 game behind Kras for the division crown. If he can stay 1 game behind, he'll control his destiny at the end of the regular season w/ a finale versus Kras. Bennie continues to slide back. I'm sure that he's as stunned as anyone else regarding the Beagles loss in Oaktown. Donovan was incredibly off w/ his throws. He was either short or high on his throws. When he wasn't off, he was getting taken to the turf on a constant basis. Apparently, Ben doesn't believe in Ahmad yet. I have a feeling that he will next week, especially since Kevin Smith will be on a bye. Perhaps Ben can get in the QB trade discussion since Big Ben isn't good enough w/ his 3 weeks of 20 plus fantasy points prior to another 20 plus performance for Bleemia to start. The big disappointment for Ben has to be the lesser Steve Smith's performance this year. Apparently, he feels like he isn't an assett to the team. This means a ton of passes from Delhomme. How many of them will get picked is the question. Ben might not even know what's going on w/ his fantasy team as his Phils continue to keep things exciting w/ another rally in the bottom of the 9th for the win. The following video has nothing to do w/ this game or fantasy football. I could make some way too obvious joke about ideas for Bish for himself, but that's not like me.

Captain Poon Destroys the Titans versus The High Score Again?!?

Poor Towns. This makes 3 weeks in a row where Towns got to face the high prize of the week. You're not too easy too beat. You just have horrible timing right now Towns. Horrible timing as in being 1-5 when the divsion leader is 5-1 and the next team is 4-2 and the next team has Drew Brees. You play Shen next who has MoJo on a bye so I doubt that he'll have the high score. If he does, I'll laugh uncontrollably at you b/c I'm mean like that. Maybe you can ask Andy Reid to give Westbrook more than 6 carries especially if he already has 50 yards on those 6 carries. Stupid. I know that I should root for Brady to have 6 TD's in 1 quarter but I loved football before fantasy; so I couldn't stomach the game in NE. It hurt my eyes to see that wretched display on all parts by the Titans. I was surprised that Belicheat called off the dogs early in the 2nd half and benched Brady. I guess he has some level of respect for Titan's coach Fisher. I spoke w/ Vish who enjoyed seeing owner Bud Adam's team get humiliated like that especially when they were sporting the old Houston Oilers symbol. The best game was in Minnesota as Favre escaped w/ another win. Ray Rice reminds me of a younger Westbrook minus all the TD's. He's awesome. Top 3 fantasy pick barring injury next year. If Captain Poon can stay on track w/ Randy, I'll be in the hunt for a wild card w/ Gore and Rice. If you want to see something messed up. Here's a video from the crazy people in Japan where there are no laws or niceness when it comes to reality TV. You don't need to understand or read Japanese to get it. You can figure out who the victim is and I think that the guy in the end is his buddy who set him up.

EMBED-Terrifying Sniper Prank on Japanese TV - Watch more free videos

If We Only Rewarded Players for Their Returns versus I Was Better off when I was Just Scoring a Few but Enough Points.

Vish goes off like so much pent up energy after being in a strip joint for 24 hours straight. Ask him the story. Anywho, Vish gets the points and is proud of his Texans rare road win against the Cardiac Cats. More importantly, the Texans might have found a way for Slaton to be of help by getting little checkdowns and dump offs. Don't hand the ball off too often though b/c he's fumbled once again. Schaub went off and Josh's Owen Daniels made an incredible 1 handed stab the ball in mid air while diving for a TD. He also ruptured the Achilles of the Bengals' best pass rusher w/ a cut block so I guess we'd call it adding insult to injury. Sims Walker Texas Ranger was able to keep in his pants so he was able to play on Sunday and help out Vishy. Vish had it all going as he even had the Patriots D/ST who snuffed out/took advantage of the putrid display of football from the Titans. Joshie actually put up a good score this week w/ his Colts on a bye week. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. I also have to give it to S Jax. He's the sole weapon on the Lambs and everyone and their mom knows it. He hasn't been able to score any TD's but he's been able to give yards each week. Unfortunately, TD's are the name of the game in fantasy land as someone like McGahee who only has about 200 yards on the season has scored more fantasy points than S-Jax. You could argue that there isn't much difference between Gore and S Jax but the 49ers have a decent enough defense against lesser teams so that Gore has more chances to score. At least I can't knock Josh for having the lowest total points anymore. He's second to last. FYI, if the Raiders Ashmaingagoudzueuodgooouu is healthy, I'd start Sidney Rice over Braylon easily.

You Don't Need a QB to Win versus A Slowly Sinking Ship

Ash gets the win despite almost nothing from Hasselbeck. I am too lazy to look it up but I think that it's a rare win w/ the QB getting so close to zero or less. Ash did it thanks to DeAngelo and the fact that they were playing the "at least we're not the Skins" Bucs. I wonder how well the Bucs will do against the Pats in jolly old England this weekend. He also did it thanks to Crosby's big leg against the Lions. Ash takes a 1 game lead of Josh and more importantly, he won't be getting almost zero from the QB position anymore as Peyton just had his bye week. It's a tough division to be in if you're in the back...that would be Towns. Sho gets the loss and as I've previously predicted, he needs someone to go off in order to break 100 points each week. But at least he's in the right division to be mediocore w/ everyone else at 0.500 in the South East Atlantic Conference. Basketball season is about to start and here's a video from the Chuckster. I agree w/ the Chuckster on this one though many of my Chinese friends say it is actually quite tasty. I wonder if they're just effing w/ me.

I Beat Kras? versus I Actually Lost?

Despite all of my hype, Kras actually lost a game. In fact Kras had the 3rd lowest score of the week. The rest of the league can only hope that we'll see the real Steve Smith stay in the single digit scores and the Vikings surrender so many points in the 4th quarter. I'm still afraid of him especially when he has the two top rushers in the league. Cliff gets the surprise win w/ the big chunk of it due to the Saints aka Drew Brees lighting up the Giants. I know that the Giants were missing a good deal of their secondary from last year but where were Tuck and Osi and the rest of their pass rushers. It's a huge win for the Saints and sets up a let down this week. Hopefully, they won't be reading too many of their own headlines. Cliff also got a lot of love from T Jones. I still don't know how the Jets lost when T Jones and Leon Washington combined for something like 350 total yards from scrimmage. Oh yeah, it's because Sanchise turned it over a billion and one times. Maybe he was doing his best Jake Delhomme impression. Ha !

For those of you who feel sad and depressed over your fantasy season. Maybe we could do some sort of fantasy involving this football. Picture me w/ my right eyebrow slowly going up. Giggle, giggle. Snicker, snicker. In reality, they can out throw me and probably hurt me in ways I wouldn't like w/ one of their tackles.

My Slant Hopes Information Thoughts

I obviously don't know what I'm talking about but I wish that I had the power to make teams lose by praising them. For example, last week I put the Auburn Tigers on the SI cover. There's no one that I honestly like/hate enough to praise them after this weekend. It's a shame that they put Tebow's brain on the line after everything that he's done for them. Here's a story from the New Yorker courtesy of Bill Simmons that's a little scary if anyone you care about plays football but especially on the line or at linebacker. http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/10/19/091019fa_fact_gladwell When it came to the big LSU/Fla game, it was the defense that won the game for the Gators and Tebow's presence versus his production kept the the Tigers defense honest. Bradford came back too but his shoulder is no where near as long term as a brain. Texas won but apparently it was an ugly one and it wasn't the ugliest one from a team from Texas. Alabama continued to downgrade Snead. Sho, did you know that Saban was that distrusted? Kansas continued to keep Krotchua happy and apparently he's decided to emulate his alma mater's fight club tactics. He's been spotted walking around w/ a fancy shmancy sling on. The most impressive team from the big 12 has been the Blackshirts from all reports though. I think the video game like 22 receptions in 1 game from the kid from Bowling Green had to be the most impressive.

For those of you who like to watch train wrecks in slow motion, keep a close eye on the madness in Golden State. S-Jax wants out and he wants out now. He fouled out and had a technical in less than 10 minutes to prove his point. I know that he's a jackalope but he played it right. His contract was set to expire this year so he cozied up and said all the right things to idiot owner, Chris Cohan. His reward was a contract extension for 4 years and $35 million. Captain Jack is talented and the contract would have been worth it 4 years ago but now it's such a rip off that the Warriors will have to take an equal or greater rip off in order to move him. This is the same owner who sided w/ then coach Don Nelson about a billion years ago and traded a highly talented but also highly stubborn Chris Webber. I am glad that the IRS is going after him and the only prayer for GSW fans is for him to be forced to sell to keep Uncle Sam happy. You all may have thought that I was over reacting to my joy in seeing them upset the Mavs. But this idiocy is par for the course for Warriors fans.

Congrats to Uncle Ben who is now a daddy too. The Phils had a great win to close out the Rockies. After last year, it's about championships and you only celebrate when you're last man standing now. I dislike all the other teams so I really want to see the Phanatic taking champange baths in November.

Speaking of good things, Les and I saw Couples Retreat where the film was apparently made in super island fun fun where Shen and B recently stayed. I don't know if they stayed in the couples side or the singles/girls gone wild side. Either way, there was an abundant display of nature's beauty. The movie had it's moments but was more of a rental, imho.

Like a Phoenix, T Squared Rises versus Why Do I Get to Face the High Score Again?

T squared didn't just break the cherry, he gets some cash money for doing so. How awesome would that have been if you could apply it to real life? Murmurs went off like the Falcons did against my Niners and got Matty Ice's production for it. Unlike the Niners, Big E put up a good fight. He even had another Cowboy receiver w/ a career day to help him. 2 years ago, Big E beat me when I got to wake up and turn on the T.V. to hear "Crayton's having a career day, ladies and gentlemen." He lost b/c everything came together for Tim. His QB's and Giants D have been great all year, but everyone else finally put it all together for him including waiver wire last minute pick ups in Michael Bush and Ben Watson. FYI, the Raiders Bush has been more productive than LDT. Granted he's been injured, but the facts is the facts. T squared wasn't the only person to find some waiver wire love. Big E got an orgy of love from Miles Austin, who saved the Cowboys on Sunday. It was an embarrassing win for the Cowboys against the lowly Chefs and they needed Austin's break a tackle and make a big run for a TD twice for the win. Kyle Orton also came through for Towns and was huge down the stretch for the surprisingly undefeated Broncos. Don't worry Towns. You're going against me next week so I doubt that you'll be facing a high score. If you get more than 70, you stand a good chance of beating me.

Close Only Counts in Horseshoes and Handgrenades versus Thanks for Tradin' Braylon

Game of the week honors goes to this match up. Shen comes up just a bit short w/ Welker and Maclin's points languishing on the bench. Shen says that he thought McNabb would end up spreading the love but no one could see him dropping bombs on yo moms like that. It reminds me of Kevin Curtis and me trying to pull my hair out. You could argue that when Welker starts, Brady will make sure that he gets at least 6 points a game. In fact, it's what I said. You just have to wait til game time to see if he's playing. Ronnie B gave Shen some food for thought w/ his great Monday night game. We'll see if Shen will be his own great undoing. Speaking of own undoing, it was surprising to see Ray Ray cost his team a victory w/ that late hit on Ocho. The Cardiac Cats have been the most entertaining team in the early season w/ all of their games decided in the last 2 minutes of the game. If you told Kouche that his team would be dependent on Braylon making spectacular catches (plural), I'm sure that he'd be writing off this game as a loss especially after getting all of zero last week but being able to get into it w/ one of King James's Enterouge. (Gomer Pyle voice) Surprise, surprise, surprise! If he continues this, I'll have to change the name of my team to I h8 Braylon. Joshua has won by less than 3 points over the last 2 weeks which is a mere 30 yards. It's not just 2 wins for Kouche, it's also the difference between Shen and I switching places in the division. It probably won't mean much in the end...probably. Jouche is the perfect example of how you don't have to have a great team to win, you just need to be the better team on game day. He is 4-1 and has the lowest point total in the league. Here's a video of the hit.

Almost Snatching Defeat From the Sure Victory. versus Couldn't Favre Get Me Another TD?

Once again, I get to be in a game of the weak. I almost lose despite not having to play anyone on MNF. I don't think that I could have stomached it. It wasn't really that close but the bad vibes were there as I was watching the pregame show. I think it would have been one for the annals. It probably would have felt like one w/o the ky too. Once again, I start the wrong QB and I need someone to trade for Flacco so I can't make that mistake each week. My only hope is that Ray Rice keep scoring from outside of the 10. I am sure that Sho would have thought that Percy and Favre would have got more in a blow out win versus the poor Lambs. Thankfully, the dogs were called off early on. I still say that team Gators is the most suspect of the division leaders. If Megatron's injury is lingering, it will put a greater onus on his team to have huge games by at least 1 or 2 players in order for Sho to contend w/ the big boys. I have 2 players put up huge points and I still end up w/ a sorry point total. Speaking of sorry teams, the Deadskins are right up there. It's true that they have 2 wins unlike a handful of winless teams right now. But if you look at who the Deadskins have faced (NYG, Lambs, Lions, Bucs, Panthers), all were winless prior to their game w/ the Skins. The Giants don't really count, but struggles against the 0-1 Lambs, 0-2 Lions, 0-3 Bucs, and 0-4 Panthers give no joy to the Hogs. How much of and underdog would a team full of guys like the one in the video below be against the Deadskins ? Note the time at the top part of the video...now that's early.

Drunkest Guy Ever Goes for More Beer - Watch more Funny Videos

Welcome Back VDW. versus A Coach Who Can't Pick His Starters.

It seems like it's been forever since VDW had a good week. I'm sure that he can tell you how long it's actually been and that it's a lot longer than we think. After his big and what seems like a lopsided trade w/ Shen, he stands to be a real force now if he can find a QB. I still think that he needs more consistent help than Reggie but he is a home run threat each week. If Orton can keep the offense chugging along, VDW will have 2 talented #1 WR's and the Wild Porpoise doing damage for him. Cliffy is correct when he says that it wouldln't have mattered this week for him. I'm just messing w/ him in the hopes that it affects his fantasy basketball season where Cliffy has an impressive resume according to Shen. You still have Brees which means you have the most realistic possibility at 30 points from 1 player each week. Have faith. I don't understand the Bills game but you still have 2 games against Tampa, and 1 against the: Lambs, Panthers, Deadskins, and Cowgirls. That's 6 juicy match ups and only 1 outdoor game in early December in the bunch. Here's a video that shows what Cliff felt like after benching KW2 for Rosario Dawson.

What an Ash Hole. versus It's All About the Ash Hole.

Ben had a good game but unfortunately he wasn't playing the majority (2/3) of the league that he could have beaten. He can also question his decision making in sitting Bradshaw who was going against the lowly Raiders in favor of Kevin Smith who was going against the Steelers. But he's got his Phillies that need all his attention. I wonder if Lauren has a Phanatic hat or Phillies jersey yet. Overall, Ben has a pretty good team. His bench would have outscored both Sho and I. Ash continues to ride the Peyton passing train to success. He also has the benefit of Mendenhall who's making it difficult for coach Tomlin to not name him as the starter. If Rodney could play the 49ers each week, Ash would be a happy little school girl. I think that it's interesting that Ash's best running backs have been waiver wire finds. If you look at the running backs drafted in the 1st 2 rounds, I think that you can say that all have been a disappointment in relation to where they were picked except All Day and maybe MoJo. I'm going w/ 2 WR's in the 1st 2 rounds unless I can get All Day next year. Oh yeah, Ash's bench would have almost beat me.

It's Kras Land and You're All Going to Have to Pay Admission. versus Why Can't I Play the Midget Each Week?

Kras has another big week. I sense a trend for the rest of the season. All Day did his duty and the Vikings defense mangled the poor Lambs into early submission. How great is Kras this season? I think that Kras is responsible for Benson being the leading rusher so far. He gained 100 yards against the Ravens who haven't had a runner do that to them since 06. All bow before Kras. Vish ended up bowing before the might of Kras. I guess that Vish didn't believe in the power which is why he didn't have Walker Sims suit up for game day. It wouldn't have mattered. What does matter is the lack of rapport between Brady and Moss. Formerly terrific Tom has been over throwing Moss by a good 3-4 feet. Moss is a long target and to over throw him by that much is ugly. I guess it would be my fault for drafting him. At least Vish got Lynch Mob back and even in a split of duties, he produced for Vishy. I would hate to be a Bills fan now. Everyone is circling the wagons around poor Jauron who apparently is on the hottest seat b/c Dan Snyder wants a big name and the big names don't come in during the season. What's even sadder is the talk of the team leaving Buffalo. The team was so horrible that even when they limited the opposing QB to 2 completions and less than 200 yards of total offense, they still lost. It was a battle of the inept versus the incompetent. The problem is if the Bills continue to look this horrible, then will fans stay home? If attendance is bad then there's an even greater push to leave Buffalo.

College Game

So I'm not on the alabama bandwagon but after reading about the Auburn offense, I'm intrigued by them. But if they get too great too quickly, then coach Chizik will be off to NFL pastures. I'm glad that he's not famous enough for Snyder's checkbook. I was surprised by Cal's defeat. In fact, I'll say that stupid Stanfurd takes them this year as long as they stay healthy. It's not that Cal is bad, it's just that they're not that good. All isn't bad news though as VDW's Spartans were able to beat the Wolverines though it sure looked like they were trying to give Forcier as many chances as possible to beat tem. Like VDW, I thought that Rodriguez was going to go for 2 for the win. And Sho knows that deep down inside, there is no way that someone should be playing football if he's just been cleared to watch TV and read a week before the game.

For the record, I was never for the rule that you couldn't drop someone that you claimed off waivers. I thought that it was silly and an over reaction to a presumed attempt on my part of trying to get away w/ something. But I said that I would salute the flag. It's just difficult for me to salute it when the rules aren't enforced, "forgotten," or are open to interpretation. Weak. But you can even ask Sho and he'll tell you that you can't make a rule for all but have it only applicable to the one or only at certain times or circumstances. Once again, weak. Very weak.

The Revenge of Peyton versus I Almost Won this Week?

I wonder if T squared even knows that he almost won this week. It came down to a highly watched MNF game as Favre got his payback against the Packers. I'd like to see what would have happened if they switched Rodgers and Favre. I say the Vikings defensive line was too much plus one for the Packers o-line and Favre would never have survived that beating. On the other side of the fence, how clean was Brett's jersey? Ash says that he was screaming during the Sunday night Chargers come back. I wonder what Tim would have been screaming to watch LDT contribute all of nothing. It was only a matter of time. At least he has 2 games against the Chefs. If he doesn't go off then forget about it. Game over!!! Ash is sitting pretty w/ Peyton's incredible start. If Antonio Bryant can show some consistency, Ash has some WR trade bait. If Mendenhall gets the starting gig and the Steelers get to play the Chargers each week, Ash will be very pretty.

It doesn't matter where I am, I still win versus Sho Gets First Taste of De Feet

Shen just keeps going around the world and winning games. It's just that easy. He's riding the Bungles rejuvenation project and as long as Carson is good, so is he. Surprisingly, Ocho and Mini Moss (not Sinorice) have been much better than Jennings. I'm going to say that the Packers offensive line gives Rodgers all of zero time so the deep bomb to Jennings has been non existent. You have to give Shen credit though. He's been able to pick up defenses and Tynes off the waiver wire and they've done quite well for him. Sho gets his first loss of the season. If Sho doesn't have a QB going off and one of his players going bananas, I don't know how Sho can win unless he's playing me. He can go on about Percy, but even he can't make up for the short comings of Louis Murphy. Once again, the Raiders really suck...really suck hard. At least the Redskins won for Sho, barely. I don't know if Sho is particularly proud of it. He shouldn't be. Here is something that the Hogs can be proud of.

I h8 Sean Payton versus thank you Sean Payton

This could also have been called the battle of the lame. You can ask my dogs about the expletives that were echoing through my condo as I watched Sean Payton go for it on 4th and 1 time and time again when a field goal would have made more sense so you could be up by more than a TD. I'm a fan for going for it on 4th and 1 but smart football is smart football and that type of bravado will eventually cost you. I can also hang myself for starting Flacco over Brady. I'm sure that Baltimore is ready to hang the refs and Mark Clayton. I can't believe the poontang call on the Ravens defense for literally touching Brady's legs after the ball was released. There was no way that Brady was going to get hurt. I wouldn't have budged after that little contact. Shen's skirt would have barely moved w/ such little force. Speaking of skirts, ex Pat Rodney Harrison even called out Brady and told him to ditch it and put on some pants. Clayton's sin was dropping a pass that hit him in the chest on 4th down w/ the Ravens driving deep in Pats territory for the game winning TD w/ less than a minute to go. I bitch because if the Ravens don't turn it over than I have a fair chance at more points w/ Flacco and Ray "I do everything but score TD's" Rice. Oh wells, like Miley says I'm going to be okay. It's a party in the USA. Josh gets the win and should be thankful to the schedule makers for getting to play me this week. He can also thank the the KC hapless defenders. I"m guessing that teams are making Eli beat them w/ the pass and taking away the ground game. The G men were taken out that way after Plax went gun toting over state lines. For the record, I think Plax got jobbed in so many ways for his crime. Rules is rules but his punishment didn't fit the crime.

The Pain will Rise vesus My Team Gives Me Pain

If Vishy can keep this up, he'll be joining Shen in the winner's circle. BTW, I think Shen owes him something something for his team. I say Shen give Vishy his eventual week's high score prize. How horrible did the Raiders look? Someone has to come up w/ a nickname for their haplessness. When you can make the Texans defense look that good, you know that there's something horrible w/ that team. They had 173 total yards of offense. As I said to Cliff in the preseason, when was the last time that you heard of a Raider of any fantasy relevance? Vish also has the some great waiver wire pick ups not named "the other" Steve Smith in Sims Walker and VD. So I doubted that Romo would be a good fantasy QB w/o TO. I argued that Roy sucked and that teams would double team Witten so he lacked any viable passing threats. Plus I thought that the Cowboy offense would be run based w/ the occasional play action fake. If they're playing a joke defense, I can see Romo having a good game but only then. In other words, Romo is a must play against the Chefs next week. Speaking of joke defenses, did you see B Marshall's TD against the Cowgirls defense? He made a great adjustment to catch the ball and then went all the way left and back right around 5 defenders. It looked like a pop warner game defense when the kids are still too clumsy and don't know how to run and tackle yet. It's especially shameful when your head coach is supposed to be a defensive expert. Wade Phillips has joined Tom Cable right next to Zorn on the hot seat. VDW needs to find a running back because KK's man is not a running back. Speaking of KK, I like her as a blonde. Speaking of KK, I wonder what the over under is on her sister's marriage to Odom. Here's the line for you gentlemen; But I finally met the one that I knew if had I lost her, it would hurt me the most. Don't use it now. Just store it. Here is a fun picture that was relevant prior to the signing.

Saints Win b/c of Defense and Cliff Wins b/c of the 49ers Defense! versus Saints Win b/c of Defense and Cliff Wins b/c of the 49ers Defense?

The Saints and Cliffy win because of defense. Would you have thought that about the Saints last year? Cliff winning b/c of a good defense isn't surprising, it's that it's my 49ers. They're good but not great when you consider that they've played the Lambs w/o Bulger and the Seahawks when Hasselbeck got knocked out early. I'll take it though b/c it's how you eventually contend. While it was a blowout against the Lambs, it's an important way to win after a demoralizing defeat against Favre. Ben gets a tough loss but put up a good fight considering the fact that Turner and the lesser Steve Smith were on bye weeks. Ben was the recipient of the Saints D and would have won if they could have run back that last pick deep in Jets territory. Ben would have also won if V Jax could have got a little more love in the Chargers too little too late loss against the Steelers.

Is This How the Fantasy Gods Make Up Last Year to Me? versus I Can't Believe that I'd Ever Say Run DMC sucks.

Kras is living the high life. He doesn't just get the win but he comes from behind to take the weekly prize. Kras has the magic touch right now. He even got Less Evans to contribute something on a putrid Bills team. Torture Chambers actually did better than that too? I would like Kras to pick up Crabtree and see what happens. Big E takes a loss despite the 20 plus points from Forte and Cutler. Unfortunately, the rest of his starters scored less than them. He needs to be playing me if he wants to win w/ that low a score. Speaking of weak teams, here's a new touch for our league next year. I'm not putting it up for discussion b/c there won't be any and nothing will happen unless I just initiate it and make it so. We pick our draft picks based on a finish weighted lotto. In addition to that, the worse you are; then you get to pick 1 team to be in your division. For example, the worst teams right now are T Squared, VDW, Towns, and me. T squared gets the first selection for someone in his divsion. He says that I am a sucka waiting to happen and picks me. VDW looks around the land and he can pick anyone that he wants. If he picks myself or Tim, then 3 out of the 4 spots are taken for divsion pathetic. VDW says that he wants some Bishal action. Towns says that he wants to crush some midgets and selects me. I have the next pick but I can't take VDW or Bish b/c there is only 1 spot left for my division. I say that Ash and his money are soon parted and lock up my division. This adds to the lesser teams being able to pick your destiny and keeps things interesting. You may say that I nit pick over silly things like the enforcement of rules, but I'm always trying to spice things up. If only Les would be okay w/ costumes. Once again, you're welcome.

College Fun

So I’m not surprised that Cal lost. In fact, I told Shen that this would happen. It’s b/c my Bears can’t stand the spot light. It’s unfortunate but true. What’s also true is that Tebow shouldn’t be playing this Saturday. If your bell is rung so badly that you aren’t supposed to be reading or watching TV, then how the Fushnikins are you going to play da foozeball? Maybe you shouldn’t be playing him when you have the game in hand. Joe Pa’s boys were also exposed as frauds over the weekend. No offense, VDW and Kras, but only the Hawkeyes and Wolverines look like better teams than my no heart Bears. Nutt’s boys also went down against the Gamecocks. I’m hoping that this means Snead’s stock goes down for the 49ers. The Canes went down after I hyped them up last week but I think that the results would be better if the game was at the U. I also think that things would be much better if you use a spotter when you bench press. It’s one of the reasons that I don’t work out. No one will spot me and I don’t want to have my neck crushed. Geeez!!!!

Redzone

Speaking of feeling like your neck was crushed, it’s what I felt like when I watched the 49ers game. My boys don’t’ have anything to feel ashamed about but they need to take the next step that winners do. I would suggest that you get the NFL Redzone HD package if you can. ATTuverse customers who also get the internet through ATT can get it for “free” for 6 months. The italics are b/c they charge you $5 more per month for it but take off $5 on your internet bill. The cut away to teams once they get to the redzone and randomly switch to games in between. You get a lot of the emotion, like having your spirits crushed when Chris Brown fumbled out of the endzone.

The website was right about my team’s greatness versus the man who lost when Cedric Benson outperformed All Day against the Steelers, of all people.

Shen reaps the rewards of his team while enjoying poi and ukuleles. I can’t believe that I gave up on another TE too early and someone else gets the rewards. Annoying. In all honesty, Shen gets all the credit. I also give credit to the hapless Texans defense. Kubiak might be behind Zorn in the race for the pink slips but he’s not giving up. Did you see MoJo move the pile for 4 yards? It’s like me moving forward w/ a bunch of Bishnals jumping on my back. I was waiting for the Tecmo Bowl effects of seeing defenders fly off of Bo Jackson. Shameful. Once again, if the Bungles can continue aka Palmer stay healthy, Shen will benefit w/ a solid line up. Kras suffers his first defeat of the season. You’re starting to see the holes of his receiving core. Torture Chambers has no business being on a fantasy team anymore. The Bills have to play checkdown football which means no love for Less Evans and T.O. TJ needs a healthy Hasselbeck in order to do some damage. At least Kras has the “other” Steve Smith and Jerricho.

Sho doesn’t need to draft QB’s versus the lesser Steve Smith

Sho wins this battle of undefeated teams as he continues his strong play. He’s been running hot at the QB position too. At least he can win w/ Campbell as his QB. How many people can say that? Oooooooo…..burn!!! The bigger burn is McGahee’s resurgence at the cost of my Rice. Anquan finally showed some life. The question is how badly will his hamstring hurt him for the rest of the season. The next question is if a new contract will heal that hammy. Sho’s also been successful at picking defenses. It’s not that tough to pick the team playing the Raiders though. We’ll see who wins this weekend in a battle of the Texans hapless defense versus the Raider inept offense. Once they start to mention Jamarcus w/ the likes of Ryan Leaf and Heath Shuler, is that bad? Ben goes down but even he will tell you that wins against the Pain and Abound mean as much as wins versus the Raiders and Browns. The return of Lynch means less touches for Freddy J. I’ve already mentioned the lesser Steve Smith. It’s too early for Jake to get benched. His interceptions on Monday night were the receivers’ fault. I think Ben’s biggest pain is the lack of consistency from his receivers except for V Jax.

Did Bobby Hebert possess Brees versus Bubba Time.

A Rod went off against the Lambs which isn’t that difficult or surprising. What was surprising was the fact that STL hung around for so long. I thought that the Packers D would have eaten up the Lambs especially after Bulger was hurt. Instead, the Lambs threatened Green Bay w/ Boller at the helm. Krotchua also got big days out of Wayne and the Cowpokes D. Unfortunately, D Ward did all of nothing like the rest of the Bucs against the G men. At least Kouche has Addai. Don’t think or over analyze the situation. As long as Addai is healthy, he’ll get touches. If you have faith in Peyton, then you’ll think that the Colts will put up points so Addai will have chances to score. Dump Ward and find someone else to go w/ Julius for bye weeks and the inevitable S Jax injury. Cliffy had to be the most shocked person of the weekend. First he saw his Texans go down in a shoot out against Jacksonville of all people. Like you can’t figure out that stopping MoJo is the key to that offense. Duh! Then he saw the Saints go old school Aints on offense. In all honesty, the Bills can rush the passer and the injuries at left tackle started to show. It wasn’t highlight reel pretty, but it was what you need to do every now and then if you’re going to be a legit playoff team. The second biggest disappointment had to come from his receivers/tight end. Andre had an okay day but I’m sure that Cliffy was hoping for more love for AJ in a shoot out. Holmes, Robinson, and Winslow put up less combined points than reserve Wade’s 7.3 points. Ouch!

Happy B day Erin versus What a crappy B day gift.

Big E was busy celebrating his quincenera w/ beer and beer galore. He gets the gift of being way too gone/ hung over to know that Westbrook was out. Owens and TGJ were playing like Towns was feeling and had a combined nothing. I’m sure that a good time was had by all though at the party. Ash looks like he’ll be joining Sho in the I can’t be horrible for 2 years in a row bus. Peyton’s had some big plays throughout the season and Ash has benefited along w/ whomever is catching the ball. Mason also had a big day thanks to a big play. After that, I didn’t see much from the rest of the team. At least everyone gave something which is more than can be said for Erin’s team. You could argue that the Skins contribution of 2 points was almost nothing but it was twice as much as the Steelers gave Towns. Something like $50 million GUARANTEED and you strain your assssh cheek and you’re out.

I H8 Tom Brady versus I’m glad that I played Denise this week

VDW gets off the schnide. He was also having way too much birra w/ Towns and wasn’t able to see that Bowe was out. It was a push as Gore was done for what looks like 3 weeks after 1 play. Team Mayhem did what they had to do but it wasn’t a win until halftime on Monday night. As predicted, Jacobs would do well but not as spectacular as I thought he would against the Bucs. I was wrong w/ Romo though. I thought that they would have run enough screens and play action fakes to get him a big play or two. A win is a win is a win though. I’m sure that VDW isn’t complaining. I’m sure that he’s also hoping that Parker’s week wasn’t an illusion as well. I’m also sure that VDW is yelling at coach Wisenhunt each week and wondering why the Cards aren’t getting the ball to their best player each week? Foolish. I’ve always believed that a good coach maximizes what he has versus trying to put a square peg into a round hole. If I’m in charge of the Cards, I pass and pass and pass and set up the run w/ the pass. Go 1 running back and have a blocking tight end and 3 wide outs and attack through the air. I lose and find myself wondering why Tom has forsaken me? Oh wells. At least I have a respectable team if Gore can get back to health and I think that I’ll have a spectacular team if Brady can produce Cassell like numbers. I love my wide receivers w/ Colston, D-Jax, Breaston, and Burleson. I don’t know if Burleson can stay healthy but I’ll ride him like … vishal joke.

Battle of the Defeated

One of them had to win and Vishy gets the W. T squared loses the battle of the cardimofologists. I wonder what Mahoney would say if she knew that Vishy ever got the better of you at something. Ha! Hopefully, LDT will stay healthy for the rest of the year. Unfortunately, Portis is starting to have some nagging injury already. Sheeeesh! Once again, never take a RB who is 30 or older (turning 30 during the season also counts). Rivers continues to “ok.” Meanwhile, at the ashcave, Peyton is mocking T squared. Vishy gets the win thanks to Schaub. Don’t over think Schaub. If he’s healthy, you just play him. He has so many weapons and such an awful defense that he’s set up for fantasy goodness each week. PT Cruiser had a great week but I won’t expect it this week against the Jets.